Thanksgiving

Back from a wonderful Thanksgiving with my wonderful family and as always I'm gonna wake up tomorrow and start crying because of all the stuff I have to do. But that's life and that's all I'm gonna say.

Only 1:30

It's only 1:30 and I already had an interesting day. I failed my E&M exam at 11 this morning. Discovering only 5 minutes before the exam that I had left my homework that was due today at home didn't help much either. After that in my communications class I find out that only the rough draft was due today. At least I have the paper done now. Then when I drove back to campus to turn in my homework all these crazy Lubbock drivers and pedestrians are just set on getting me in another accident. Being really tired didn't help much either. So I'm not gonna leave the house except to go climbing today. I can't really go anywhere anyway because I'll be doing all this homework that is due tomorrow.

Treib mich weiter, gib mir meine Hoffnung zurueck....

As I was driving over to Lib's house today. I was listening to my favorite German band Pur. This song in particular I thought fitted very well. I'm trying to find a translation for it, but of course even if I do it's just not gonna sound and mean the same. It's basically about complacency and lack of motivation. Something that I'm really lacking right now. As I was doing my physics homework today aka copying my physics homework I realized once again that I'm really lacking my movtivation. I didn't even want to try. I think it's mainly burn out cause this is already my fifth semester. Another thing is that during the spring semester I learned how to get by, get good grades and have tons of fun at the same time. Now this semester it's not working out anymore cause my classes got a lot more difficult. I'm also expecting that I will do good and that everything will work out, because that's what has always happened in my life. I never had to work extremly hard to get something. So now when that doesn't happend it's extremly discouraging. And for some reason this is not making any sense. It's in my head anyways and that's all that matters. Anyway, I'm gonna get off the computer and hang out with Lib and Denis some more.


Warum hast Du sie verlassen und verläßt Du auch noch mich
sie hasten durch die Straßen und verlieren ihr Gesicht.

Sie sind bequem, gefügig, schlafwandeln durch die Korridore
nur noch Brot und Spiele, ist das wirklich schon genug ?

Ist der Weg zu weit
jedes In- und Aus sich egh´n verlorne Zeit.

Auf meiner Reise gab es wirklich viel zu seh´n
Hab´ vermutlich bei der Eile glatt die Hälfte überseh´n.

Und die schnell erreichte Ziele machen träge, satt
das Blut wird müde. Wo ist die Windmühle, gegen die ich kämpfen kann ?

Sag mir wie, nicht wann
Sag mir, was ich wirklich kann

Mächtig viel Theater, tief drin im Labyrinth
abseits der irren Wege, die vorgezeichnet sind, oh Bitte

Treib mich weiter
Gib mir meine Hoffnung zurück
Führ mich in Versuchung und hilf mir
Zeig mir mehr als billiges Glück

All die Tiere folgen dem Instinkt
fraglich, was die Menschheit unserer Mutter Erde bringt.

Ein großes Segen-Fluch-Getriebe
voller Lust und Liebe, Leid und Lüge
wenn ich mich betrüge, betrüg ich dann auch Dich ?

halt den Atem an
frag mich bitte nicht wie lang

Die Wahl der Qual ist schwierig, wie hätten sie´s denn gern ?
Bin ich nur ein Stückchen Schale allein weit ab vom Kern ?

Treib mich weiter ...

Manchmal hör´ ich seltsame Lieder, die hin und wieder
in mir drin das Weiter suchen

Es klingt nach oben, es klingt nach vorn
Ich hab´ die Gabe - zum Glück - noch nicht verlor´n

Treib mich weiter ....

It's going to be a long day today, but that's ok since most of my days are gonna be like that until finals. But right after finals I get to go skiing with my family in Winterpark, CO and then it's off to LCT. I have no clue where we are going to go for that one. Looks like I'm gonna have an exciting break. Wohooo, I can't wait. I'm extremely tired of school. Papers and exams are just not fun. But what can you do? Otherwise nothing interesting has happened since the last post. Oh wait, I did get a rental car so that I don't have to bum rides. It's a Grand Am so nothing special like Heath's Dodge Minivan. I would have loved that car cause my friends already call me Soccer Mom. Hihi, anyway I'm off to take a shower and let the day begin.

Sometimes the wind speaks to me.
I am the wind when it speaks to me.
As I am walking,
no longer do I know time.
For the sound sounds the same
as it has always been.

Oh!
What bliss!
Self -
No more.
Time -
Don't know!

Only Truth, Truth, Truth.

-Seasmile

My poor car

On my way to class yesterday afternoon I'm about to turn right onto Brownfield Highway from 19th Street when I noticed a red truck in front of me. I think to myself you better slow down otherwise you are gonna do the same thing Sandee did and rear-end the truck. Because we have to yield both the truck and I are stopped, I look left and behind me to check the traffic and see no car coming and gun it. The only problem is the car in front of me hadn't moved yet. And since his bumper is at the height of my hood it totally smashed my right light, scrunches up the hood and cracks the radiator completely. The steering is messed up too and who knows what else. My car got towed in today to be fixed and luckily the insurance pays for all of it except the deductible. And right now I want nothing more but to be 21. Cause if I would be I could get a free rental car but since I'm not 21 that doesn't work and I'm gonna be bumming rides of everybody for the next week or so. It's noting really new, it's not like I haven't done that for the first two years up here at college. :)

Cancelled Class

I was runnning late to Thermo again this morning. Luckily Thermo was cancelled, so that's why I'm sitting in the ME lab right now doing nothing. Ugh, I want my motivation back....right now. Anyway I think I'm gonna play some games, then read magazines in my Mechanics class, then do Mechanics hw and I will get it done today and if that's the only thing i will get accomplished, then materials, SWE meeting, Paradigm and hanging out. Sounds like a fun day. Btw I finally got my Travel Letter which means I can actually leave this country and get back in. Wohoo. Otherwise life is great, I miss my friends and that's about it. Later

No Motivation

I have plenty of homework to do before I leave this friday to go climbing and I probably should start studying for my exams next week and work out some more and start thinking about what I'm gonna get my family for christmas and the list goes on and on and.... I don't wanna do any of it. All my motivation is gone. So I guess I can wait til it comes back or I can just get my act together and start working off my to do list. Later

Some friends have visions or dreams of the Buddha,
where He is all magnificent,
smiling, beckoning…

But what would you do if you see the Buddha in person?
After bowing, paying respect?
Do you just gaze on in a daze of amazement?
Do you just bask in His glory?

Truth is,
if you do not ask for the Dharma,
you are not a true Buddhist, not a Truth-seeker;
you are merely a Buddha worshipper.

This is the title.... :)

Mulan just has to be about the best Disney movie ever besides Finding Nemo of course. I just love that movie, and it's especially good when you are procrastinating. Motivation this semester is just lacking but only about 5 more weeks or so and then I get to go skiing with my wonderful family and just chilling down in Lake Jackson without any snow. Oh man the snow yesterday and today just made me so happy. I didn't have a snowball fight or built a snowman but I still love the snow. Ok, I probably should be going to bed cause I have a long day tomorrow of class, Wiley's Way, exam, physics hw and then probably Daybreak. Anyway, good night peeps and I love y'all even if I haven't talked to you in forever.