Stressed

Stressed....if you want to know why ask Laura cause I just vented to her majorly. Thanks Laura for being an awesome friend. Venting helps so much. I was gonna write this hugh entry about being stressed and all, but know I don't even know what to write about. I just started organizing and writing tons of to do lists etc. and now I'm fine I feel like I'm in control again, which is stupid because nobody is ever really in control of anything. But that's me... a control freak and I stress to easily. Only cure for that is listening to Enya and know that everything is going to be alright. Ok, back to my to do lists. Btw caring to much about a person can hurt.

Psalm 73
23 Yet I am always with you;
you hold me by my right hand.
24 You guide me with your counsel,
and afterward you will take me into glory

This is the verse I had picked for my confirmation about 7 years ago. I don't know what to think about it or if I even want to think about it. I have changed so much since then, since I left Germany and I'm not even there yet wherever I'm going. Ok, I'm confusing the crap out of myself. I like the following more.

A Zen saying says,
"When the Mind TRIES, the consciousness flickers."

Yoda, the Jedi Master from "Star Wars" says,
"Do or not do - there is no TRY."

Morpheus, Neo's trainer in "The Matrix" says,
"Stop TRYING to hit me and hit me!"

Stonepeace says,
"Hold something and TRY to drop it. Can you?"
"TRY not to think about a pink elephant. Can you?"

Zeph says,
"TRYING is the uncertainty,
the fickleness of the heart,
the half-heartedness of intention.
No one became enlightened by trying.
You have to be wholehearted to attain it."


Aaahhhh, my desk is covered in post-its. How am I gonna get this done?

So true!

There is essentially nothing out there,
or here,
that is boring.

There are no boring times and places,
no boring people,
no boring books,
no boring movies,
no boring songs,
and no boring poems...
not even this one,
no matter how dry this might seem.

There is only the bored state of mind -
that fails to mindfully appreciate,
to enjoy...
this moment,
no matter what it presents.

The bored mind yearns to get away,
to an ever elusive better time and place,
that is always somewhere else,
that is always missing here.

Don't kill boredom.
Don't kill time.
Don't kill the moments of your life.
Realise the richness of now - now.

~The Daily Enlightment

Computer :)

I finally got my computer back. Wohoo. And I still have all of my data. Double Wohoo. Ok, I really gotta get back to this physics hw. So I'm just gonna ask one question. What's the deal with people skipping classes all the time? Classes are the reason you are here for in the first place. I just don't understand it. Oh btw I love discussions about religion with my roomies. It's great. :)

Believe nothing, O monks, merely because you have
been told it . . . or because it is traditional, or because
you yourselves have imagined it. Do not believe what
your teacher tells you merely out of respect for the
teacher. But whatsoever, after due examination and
analysis, you find to be conducive to the good, the
benefit, the welfare of all beings—that doctrine believe
and cling to, and take it as your guide.
~THE BUDDHA

Out of the loop

I know that I have been rather busy over the last week and I didn't hung out much with people, but it is amazing how much out of the loop you can become in one week. Since I'm a rather curious person I hate being out of the loop and not knowing what's going on. I know that some of it is y'all business but I still want to know. ;)I hate it when people don't talk to me. It makes me feel as if I'm not worth talking too. Anyway that's my ranting for today and I better head back to my car and try to get out of this campus after an awesome game and btw my computer is getting fixed, the motherboard was broken and they are gonna reinstall windows, which means I will loose my data, which is just magnificient. :)

Thermo

Thermo sucks. Somebody should just kill my teacher. That test was just totally unfair. I'm gonna be surprised if I made more than a 50 on that. Ok, done raging cause I'm not really good at this. I'm more likely to start crying anyway than start yelling once I get that exam back on Tuesday. Ok, that was the negative thing of today. Otherwise I just had a long day of classes and meetings. I was kinda in a weird mood today. It was the I don't know if I should be upset or happy moods. I guess a lot of it has to do with the fact that I'm once again stuck concering my spiritual life. I really gotta work on that, but it's always tough once you are stuck in the day to day routine and just being busy with tons of stuff. Ok, enough about that, the positive things for today. Awesome, absolutly gorgous Lubbock sunset tonite, my computer is actually getting fixed, so it shouldn't be too long til i get it back....hopefully.My car doesn't seem to have any damage from my encounter with the concrete block and the weekend is here. Wohoo :) Just a couple of quotes to think about.

When one tugs at a
single thing in nature,
he finds it attached to
the rest of the world.
~JOHN MUIR

When you try to understand
everything, you will not
understand anything. The
best way is to understand
yourself, and then you will
understand everything.
~SHUNRYU SUZUKI

In these words I can
sum up everything
I’ve learned about life:
It goes on.
~ROBERT FROST

Long Post About Basically Nothing

Sitting in the ME computer lab doing tons of stuff on the computer which I can't do at home since my comp is still being fixed. Anyways since Saturday a lot of stuff happened and I guess since I have nothing better to do I'll tell y'all about my life, so nothing really thoughtful except that crushes suck.
Saturday night I finally went over to Jillie's and Lib's house to hang out with their roommates etc. It was fun except that I'm absolutely horrible at MarioCart.
Sunday I just chilled, had cinnamon rolls in the morning and then ran tons of errands. I finally got a shelf for the kitchen so that we don't have to store our food on the dryer anymore and I also got a bunch of flowers for planters on our front porch. We'll see how long those will last because I'm lacking the green thumb.
Monday I went to class did homework and then went to Women in Climbing. And yes there is waaaay to many people at the wall. No offense to the newbies, but having a little less people is more relaxing. After that I hypothetically asked what would happen if we would drop Jason's Nalgene from the third floor of the rec down the staircase all the way to the bottom. The hypothetical answer would be that it doesn't break because Nalgenes are unbreakable. The actually answer is more like the bottom broke out of the Nalgene. But it gets even better. After that I almost broke my car by actually driving over a concrete divider in the rec parking lot. My Neon totally didn't like that guessing from the scraping noises. But I have an excuse I was talking to Laura on the phone and I can't multitask so I was distracted. Then it was a fun night with the girls driving around town and Lib freaking out :)
Tuesday I didn't do too much just going to class and stuff and then getting about 3 emergency phone calls after my materials class at five. So I totally freaked and stressed out and my mood got gradually worse and worse and it doesn't help when people keep on talking to you and messing with you and annoying the crap out of you. But it was all good when I went climbing that evening. Climbing just relaxes me a whole lot.
Today I just studied for my thermo exam and I'm about to go to Bahama Bucks with my awesome roomie Julie. Wow this is a long post about basically nothing. I do promise a very emotional and raging post after my thermo test tomorrow. I hate that class. Anyway my fingers are about to freeze of since it's winter in the ME lab. :)

Stupid Computer

At the library again because my computer sucks. It won't boot at all. So I'm gonna have to fix that which will take a while. But you know there is always the cell so if you wanna talk to me call....now. Otherwise life is just great. I had a blast hanging with all my old buddies yesterday. Hung out with my girls on Thursday. School is not too stressy and life is just great...except for a couple of small things that just dissappoint you and make you simply sad. Anyways, i gotta try to fix my computer. Later :)

Social Security Number

Wohoo, I finally have my own social security number. I haven't memorized it yet, but now I can finally do what I couldn't do before, like tell people what my SSN is when they ask for it and stuff. BTW sorry guys this means that I don't need plan B anymore. I'm so excited, my very own SSN. I can't believe it. Wohoooooooo... :)

Climbing

AWESOME trip this weekend. I forgot how much I missed being outdoors and climbing and sitting around the campfire just goofing off. I actually climbed my first lead climbs this time and it felt so good. Scary but good. And all the new members are so much fun s and my old buddies are even more fun and I'm just totally excited about this semester. Wohoo. Except for some car trouble again, this trip was AWESOME. Ok nighty night.

Smoothie King

Raspberry Sunrise from Smoothie King. Geez, i love that smoothie. Hopefully they are gonna be done with the Smoothie King on 19th and Memphis pretty soon. Life is just so great. Especially girls nights. Geez, I love those too. I'm totally excited about climbing this weekend. Ok, gotta do some more hw before I leave. Later

Not cool at all

It's only the third day of school and I already don't know how I'm going to be able to finish everything in such little time. I miss everybody, I have a stomach ache and I feel strangely lonely. Finishing this thermo hw and getting some sleep is probably gonna make me be a little more positive...hopefully. This weekend should be fun though. Cause I love climbing outdoors and I have missed it so much over the summer. But I already made the decision not to go out climbing every single weekend because otherwise I'm gonna go nuts...seriously. Enough complaining, I'm gonna finish this hw and then go to bed.

Climbing Club

Wow, wow and wow. We had such a massive turnout for our climbing club meeting tonite it was insane. Three times as many people showed up for this meeting than normally. It was crazy. The wall is always packed as well. I'm kinda hoping that not as many people show up anymore. It makes it more fun. But the Datil trip this weekend is gonna be fun, especially since I get to try out my new sleeping bag. :)

I also changed my blog because the sunflowers dissappeared on the other one and I could never figure out where they went. So I just got a new template even though I really liked the sunflowers. Oh well...

Otherwise nothing much is going on. Classes are like usual and I'm getting back into the school routine. I do like it but at the same time I wish it was summer again. It's only been 2 days and I already miss all my friends I hung out with the last two weeks. That's probably because I never call. I should just start calling people on the way to class cause all I do is walk anyways. Yes I should most definitely do that, because this last weekend at the lake I realized how much my friends really mean to me. And not just my friends I went to the Lake with but all my SWE girls, my climbing buddies etc. There is just so little time to hang out and see all of them. Oh well, it's hw time.

My SSN

The BCIS finally processed all of our Green Card papers and now I'm offically allowed to work and I will get my very own social security number. I'm totally estatic about it ,except for the fact that I now have to start looking for a job which I have never done in my entire life. :/ I guess we'll see how that goes. Otherwise, life has been great. This weekend at the lake was awesome. Tons of floating and laying out and scary dives. First day of school wasn't too bad either. I think I can handle this semester. Ok, time to do hw and trying to stay positive about it.

Sunflowers

Somehow the sunflowers dissapeared but I'm not in the mood to figure out where they went. So just imagine a bunch of sunflowers for now. Otherwise life has been great. I finally have everything in my room where I want it to be and I have had so much fun hanging out with all of my friends. Speaking of friends, to my amusement I have noticed over the last couple of days on more than one occasion that events and stories change quite a bit depending on who you talk to. Anyway, I gotta get up early tomorrow so I'm going to bed.

The path up and down
is one and the same.
~HERACLITUS

Eternity is not
something that begins
after you are dead. It is
going on all the time.
We are in it now.
~CHARLOTTE PERKINS GILMAN

Sitting in the library

I'm sitting in the library and surfing the net for probably a couple more hours. Not having the internet at the house is not too bad right now, but that will change pretty quickly once school will start, so I'm estatic that I'm finally gonna be online on Monday. Otherwise I'm basically done moving in and organizing my stuff even the curtains are finally hanging although they put up quite a fight. And we gotta get a kitchen table, cause Heidi took it with her when she moved out. So I have been sitting in the living room watching the Olympics while I'm eating breakfast. Speaking of the Olympics...the Germans are finally starting to win a couple of medals and the German Soccer women are playing the US in the semifinal on Monday. All I can say is that we better win.

Couple of random thoughts:
My sister moved into her dorm at U of H today. It's a strange feeling that she is now going to college too.
Bought my books today and spend an insane amout of money again.
Gotta go the Student Engineering Council leadership retreat all day tomorrow. We get free food, so it won't be that bad.
I should go to Barnes & Nobel sometime this week because I'm out of books to read. As a matter of fact I'll go right now, cause I have nothing better to do.

Coldfront

It's 9:30 in the morning and the temperature is only 76 degrees with 64% humidity. The high for today will be only 88 degrees. I love this weather, it has been like this for the last couple of days and it feels so good. I know that everybody is laughing that this is called a cold front but for August down here the weather is fantastic. Ok, gotta eat some yummy breakfast and then start packing cause I leave tomorrow morning for Lubbock. Wohoo. I can't wait.

Random Stuff

I'm finally done with my painting project and it looks pretty neat. We'll see how many more projects my mom can give me before I leave. I think there are a bunch of pictures left that I'm suppose to hang up.

Just to rub it in some more for all the people that don't have a beach. The beach was awesome on Wednesday. At first it didn't look like it because when we drove over the huge bridge going to Surfside we couldn't see a thing because it was raining so hard. The wind was pretty intense as well and my mom and I wondered if we had missed the news about a hurricane coming in. We then turned around and drove to Quintana Beach which is only ten minutes away. It wasn't raining there and the sun came out later on. It was fantastic. Because of the storm that came through we had some pretty awesome big waves. The body surfing was sweet. Later on we found some craps and started chasing those around. Man, I love the beach.

My brother started school yesterday. He is a freshman now at B'wood. I asked him how his first day went and all he said was: "Tomorrow I'm bringing a jacket, it's freezing in there." Good thing I never had school in the fish tank. Otherwise school is pretty much routine again, except that Alex and his friends ended up in the girl's gym while going to soccer practice. But that' s my lil brother for ya.

Otherwise I'm just gonna be chillin today. I might start packing but I still have the weekend. I also have to wash my car sometime before I leave, because parking it under a 100 year old pecan tree makes it pretty nasty.

Beauty

Got up early today to work on the paintings. It's taken a lot longer than I expected. But they will be done by the time I leave on Monday to drive back to Lubbock. I'm excited, I get to move into my new house and my sister and my mom are coming with me. Yea... And I'm going to the beach today. :P

Call me Picasso

My latest summer project is coming along pretty well. My family finally agreed on the design of the paintings and I will start painting them tomorrow. Wohoo. I like art as long as I only have to paint squares and triangles cause I suck at painting landscapes or people. I'm already working on my signature so that I can sign my masterpieces later on. :)

Otherwise I have been chilling a lot. I have been to the beach a couple of times. We saw tons of jellyfish and mullets, a bunch of craps and the coolest thing yet, a stingray flying out of the water about 3 feet in front of us. It was pretty sweet looking. Of course everybody freaked out and fleed out of the water. It was pretty funny especially with the recent shark attacks we had down here. So that why everybody loves our pool. We go swimming in it daily. It's like a bathtub since the temperature is about 90 degrees Fahrenheit. But just yesterday I was sitting in it slurping a strawberry smoothie. It felt like I was on vacation. I love it. So I'm gonna enjoy it as much as I can before I drive up to Lubbock in a week. Btw speaking of smoothies, I wonder if the Smoothie King on 19th and Memphis is open yet. Hmmm

Peanut Butter & Summer Project

My mom and I gave up pretty quickly on our summer project to clean up and organize the garage once we discovered yet again that August is the hottest month of the year especially down here in Lake Jackson. We then looked for a different project and decided to hang up all the old family pictures by the stairs. It took us two days of sorting out, getting new frames and hanging up the pictures, but it's finally done now. Our next project is to create some own artwork for the living room. We bought a couple of canvases and some acrylic paint and we'll shall see what the result will be.

This morning I got up pretty early. I guess 8 o'clock can be considered early during summer holidays. I swam a couple of rounds in the pool and then laid out for a bit. And I absolutely love it. It's still reasonably cool and laying out in the early morning sun just feels fantastic. Peanut butter is fantastic too. It's quite strange now that I think about it. I used to hate peanut butter. One could chase me all the way to the moon and back with that stuff. But now I can't get enough of it. I eat at least one peanut butter toast each day. Yummy.