Update

Alrighty time for an update. Life has been great lately. In short this is what happened in the last two weeks.

-Survived two super busy weeks of school etc.
-Girls Night Out at Firewater Cafe was great
-Girls Backpacking in the Guadalupe was great and extremely windy.
-Our screendoor flew off due to the Lubbock wind
-Internshipwise for the summer....I didn't get any. Therefore staying in Lubbock doing summer school and probably working summer sports camp and definitely taking roadtrips
-Grades aren't too good. My "easy A" class turned out to be tougher and thus I currently have a B
-Working on a new soapopera called "The OPC" due to a lot of drama at work concerning "the email"
-Realized that people can fool you very easily into thinking they are someone they are not for example the writer of the infamous email and girls in pink northface fleeces driving a Ford Explorer with a Mountain Hideaway sticker.
-Realized that I love my job and the people I work with. (I'm also considering a career change, so that I have more time to spend outdoors. J/k)
-Other than that everything is the same old, same old and I'm super content and relaxed even though I have another E&M exam on Monday.

Done

Done with all my stuff for the week. Now I finally get to relax for a little bit. Wohoo. Otherwise life has been great. Climbing Rescue last weekend was awesome. I desperately needed to be outdoors even if it was only in the Franklin Mountains which are in the middle of El Paso. But it was sweet anyways. I learned a lot of new stuff about climbing and about people. Okie dokes. I need to make a trip to Wally World. Later :) :) :)

Actually there is no real teaching at all for you to chew on. But not believing in yourself, you pick up your baggage and go around to other people’s houses looking for Zen, looking for Tao, looking for mysteries, looking for awakenings, looking for Buddhas, looking for masters, looking for teachers. You think this is searching for the ultimate and you make this into your religion. But this is like running blindly. The more you run, the farther away you are. You just tire yourself, to what benefit in the end?

FOYAN

Wichitas this weekend. Wohoo

So I'm sitting here in between my classes just ready for all of them to be over. After a busy Monday, Tuesday back from Spring Break I'm now back to chilling. Especially with the Climbing Rescue trip this weekend. I'm really excited, it's going to be pretty sweet. I just hope the weather stays nice. Speaking of trips btw, the Women's Backpacking trip is coming up on April 8th-10th. Chelsea, Erin and I are going to be leading it, so anyone that wants to go on it should sign up at the OPC. It's going to be sweet as well. Anyways, I gotta go to class. Later

Eventful Trip

This time around Amy and I actually had an eventful trip from Houston. Everything goes smoothly except for this one RV that is stuck in a ditch and a bunch of crazy drivers (most of them Tech students) until we hit 84. There Amy's left front tire blows out. Luckily this nice guy stopped and changed the tire for us. He was pretty dang fast too. Anyways, since the maximum speed limit on the donut is somewhere around 60-70ish or so Amy plays it safe and we drive back to Lubbock (the whole 118 miles) going 60. Naturally we get passed by everyone including the 18-wheelers we already passed on I-20. This entire ordeal only makes our total travel time 10 hours instead of 9.5, so it wasn't that dramatic. It still wasn't fun though at least I got a tan on my left arm. The only tan I got all of spring break. Ok, I really have to study for a quiz tomorrow.

A human being is a part of the whole called by us “the universe,” a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings, as something separate from the rest—a kind of optical delusion of consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and affection of a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of understanding and compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty.

ALBERT EINSTEIN

Blah

The end of spring break is approaching. During the last 8 days I did basically......nothing. Isn't that great? Not really cause I hate being lazy. It wasn't even spring break lazy, aka hanging out at the pool or the beach. I spend most of my spring break indoors. Aaaggghhhh and so on (see previous post to know how I feel about that). Ok, to make this otherwise long and rambling post short: I'm not motivated at all right now. I want to blame it on midsemester burn out but that is not the case. I'm doing the bare minimum to get by in my classes. I have two B's in classes I should have A's in. I totally failed my E&M exam before spring break. Blah. My personal life isn't going better either. I'm not gonna elaborate on all of those details cause I simply don't want too. Anyways, I know motivation and discipline is the key for all of this, so I'm just gonna stop talking about this and actually do it. (We'll see how long that will last) To make some more Sauerkrautish comments. My sister got a brand new car. A 2005 Toyota Corolla and it's pretty sweet. So while she get's to drive around Houston in that cool car of hers. I'll be making my trip back to Lubbock in my small, not so sweet but loyal and dependable Nina the Neon tomorrow. Cool thing is, it is now officially mine. I thought I had to share it with my brother once he starts driving or something. But nope, I get to drive it til it falls apart. (Which hopefully won't be too soon. It's already 6 years old. Anyways, I gotta pack some and then hang out with the fam some more. Namaste

Stuck Inside

Aggghhhh, I want to be outdoors so bad but unfortunately I have to do stinking hw over spring break. WTF is up with that. And those stupid people are fixing our screen, so I can't go into the pool. And tomorrow I have to go to Houston, so I can't go to the beach. And this stupid spell checker actually wants to replace the work "Aggghhh" with "Aggie". I never knew the word aggie is actually in a dictionary. Ridiculous. Anyways, I can't wait til I'm done with my hw, so I can go outside and I also can't wait for the Climbing Rescue trip either. I haven't had time to go outdoors in a while. I think I need to change my major or just become a climbing bum. Ok, that was enough venting, let's get started on this stupid physics hw.

Spring Break

So this spring break is definitely the laziest I have ever been. I was gonna write tons of coverletters for internships this morning and instead I changed the template of my blog and surfed the net for a bunch of useless stuff. Blah. Ok, gotta get my motivation back. I'm off to take a shower and finally write those coverletters and maybe even start my physics hw.

Heck Yes...

Wohoo, I can finally climb again or just simply screw up my fingerprints with things like knifes and lighters and superglue...haha j/k. The USCIS accepted my fingerprints......barely. The lady had to roll my left index finger around on the scanner at least 6 times until the machine was finally happy and said "pass" instead of "ridges disconnected". That cool hightech scanner/computer was awesome. Since they only had four of those, my mom got her fingerprints taken the old school way with tons of black ink. It was great. After that my entire family went to Clear Lake to watch my lil bros soccer game. Clear Lake beat them, they just always have been a good team. I also called Julie since she now is down here working for NASA. I think we are going to hang out spring break. After the game we all ate at "Eric's", which is the hotel restaurant at U of H my sister works at. Great food and we also got to meet my sis's Latin Lover. Like Lib she always ends up dating those. Haha, love ya Lib. Then my mom busted and did a face plant on the way back to the car. It was great. I have never seen my mom trip. I just love my family. They are awesome. We have some of the best and funniest conversations and misunderstandings ever. My brother is especially good at those. For example as we are walking to the car....

Alex: Where are we?
Mom: Didn't y'all learn orientiering in boyscouts. What did y'all do all the time?
Alex: Eat beef jerky!

Or while we are talking about my sis's Latin lover and races in general...
Alex: I always wondered why they call black people in the US black cause they have more of a brown skin color, but then I saw a picture in my geography book about Africa and holy shit they are black.

Even though it sounds kinda racist and one probably should have been there it was the funniest thing I have heard in a while. But anyways fact is my family is crazy funny and I love them so much and thus I'm gonna hang out with them some more. Later...

Procrastination

Procrastinating therefore updating this thing again. Update on my fingerprints since everyone just loves hearing this story for the 25th time. 2 more days and I think I'm gonna make it. Unless the Homeland Security Department is superpicky. Anyways as I was surfing the net I came across these pictures today. They are absolutly gorgous, this is why I like snowflakes so much. Cause they are beautiful and unique just like me. Just kidding. I think snowflakes are just amazingly mysterious and beautiful.

Snowflakes

Longest Wall Shift Ever

Today I worked the longest wall shift ever. From 7-10 pm Drew and Scott were the only ones keeping me company. This weekend in general was pretty slow. I got a lot of hw done though and watched a lot of movies. For some reason all of them good love stories. I think I have had my fill of girl nights and girl movies for this month. Just kidding girl's night out are the best and cheesy love stories are too, just sad that they never happen to me. Oh well, my fingertips are doing great in their healing process aided by tons of "Climb On". If that doesn't safe my fingerprints nothing will. I'm really excited to see my family this weekend. I have been missing them like crazy lately. Alrighty, bed time.

About those tricky glass doors

All in all, today was a good day (Better than last night). I slept in (unintentionally), did reasonable on my fluids exam, got some hw done and then worked/chilled at the wall again. Then I stopped by Picantes to get a breakfast burrito and did the most retarded thing ever. I walked up to the door, read the opening times, decided to go in and smacked into the glass panel right next to the door. My excuse: There wasn't anything taped to that panel so it looked like an opening. Of course everyone inside just stared at me. Besides running into that concrete column two weeks ago that was probably the clumsiest and stupidest thing I have done so far. Anyways, going to IHOP with my fav girls Laura and Lib.

Frustrated thus eating chocolate

Today started out great. I finally got to sleep in for the first time in about 2 weeks. Then moving the Casino Night tables was pretty quick and then I chilled at the park and did my hw. After that I went climbing and had fun.......until I got a freaking blister, actually two blisters. Now I normally don't care about blisters, flappers, scrapes and the like. Except for these two since they are on my freaking finger tips. Since I need pretty fingertips for the fingerprints for the homeland security department I can't climb anymore. That means the comp this weekend is not going anymore. :( Depending on how fast this heals I might decide to go to the comp on Friday otherwise I'm just gonna stay in town. So we'll see, I really hope that I have magical skin otherwise I wasted an airplane ticket and delayed our Green Card Process. As y'all can tell I'm pretty frustated that why I took a really long shower with scruby stuff and lotion etc. and I'm eating chocolate to make me feel better.

Life is finally unstressful again...or at least I hope so ;)

The greatest feeling in the world is not having to worry about anything. Naturally I'm super happy right now. I'm done with my exams and all the hw that needed to be done this week. Catching up on about a week of hw is just not fun. But VP was a lot of fun. I keep on getting compliments on my routes and it makes me happy when I see people peel on them, especially when it is guys. ;) I have been beating a lot of them lately and it's just too great when a guy is upset cause a girl flashed a route they took falls on. Anyways, I gotta go to class. And then I'm probably going climbing again. Then hopefully chilling with people I haven't seen in forever. Btw Casino Night is Saturday night at 7. Everyone should come. We have prizes and food and it should be tons of fun at the science spectrum.

So so Day

I can't decide whether today was a good or a bad day. It started off pretty good with a pretty easy statistical and thermal physics exam. Then class was just boring. I didn't get any homework done (or at least not as much as I wanted) then my roommate got into a little collision in front of our house, so she was pretty upset. Then my dad told me that I have to fly into Houston on March 5th which is the week before spring break (during which I'm going home anyway) to get my fingerprints taken for my Green Card. So I'm flying all the way to Houston for a weekend to get my fingerprints taken. Oh and also I have to make sure that I don't get any scratches or cuts on my fingertips cause otherwise they can't do print. Ok, I'm a freaking climber for crying out loud. Ok in case you didn't notice I'm pretty upset. Kinda like Lib, but not for the same reason although I'm not a big fan of vday either. Anyway adding to all of this is my confusion about a certain someone. Ok, back to homework, so I can cry cause I'm freaking stressed, because I only have about a week of homework to catch up on.

Ok, I think I feel better. :) Climbing did put me in a better mood. I totally flashed Tim's yellow 5.10d/5.11. I am awesome. :P

Tired

Really tired, I have been up since 6am this morning because of the climbing competition. The comp was tons of fun though. I onsighted a route for rating the other day that I saw five guys peel on. I just love it when I'm stronger than guys sometime. *proud* I got compliments on my blue crimpy and balancy route. The first one I ever set.*even more proud* I got some free stuff and confused the crap out of some A&M guys. I think they still don't know whether I'm from Tennesee, Kroatia, or Boston. After that it was off to Thai Pepper were we invaded that place with 8 limegreen shirted people. We had some great conversations about God and the World (literally). Then we made it over to the VP After Party at Hammond's House. It was quite a bit of fun chilling on the waterbed, climbing the wall and having some even greater conversations about hyperspace, God, and entropy. Bad things about this evening. I hate hurting people's feelings. It always makes me feel aweful. I also finally came to the realization that I am not very fond of drunk people. The true character just comes out, a character you might not like as much as the sober one. Hanging out with a bunch of sober people for the last couple of years probably skewed my entire view point of drinking in general. I also hate complaining and bickering, things I'm guilty of myself. So next time I make a Sauerkrautish comment, someone please pinch me. Anyway I'm off to bed. I have about a week of hw to catch up on. Just to end this in a PCP. Competitions are fun and the work was worth it. :)

Phantom der Oper

Phantom of the Opera is definitely a great movie. I just love the score. The musical is of course better, but the movie is awesome as well. So anyway, that's what I did tonite watching a movie instead of doing any homework. I have been completely slacking this week. At least I got a B on my E&M exam. That made me semihappy. I was also quite delighted to finish my third route, although it still needs tweaking. I was also happy to bump into JD and Sarah at Taco Bell. I mentioned that he had cut his hair, but then he reminded me that the last time I saw him was before Christmas Break and that I had missed the shaved head. It's kinda weird and sad sometimes, that you can see a person normally at least once a week and then all the sudden not see them for 2 month. I still haven't seen Steven since he has been back to Lubbock. I barely see Lib and Laura on the weekends anymore. I don't see my roommates at all. I think I saw the Doak guys a few times. I do meet Burns in the computer lab every other day and I see my SWE girls a lot. But I think the people that get to see me the most are the OPC kids. I do practically live at the wall this week. I'm excited to get to know all of them better, but it's really hard to not stop hanging out with your other friends. What can I say I probably have way too many friends. J/k. I already promised Jillie I would hang out with her next weekend. So I'm not forgetting my old friends and obviously not my high school buddies either. Audrey just told me that she is good friends with Amy Passmore and Kristen Park who were both on my Drill Team. Weird. But they cool thing is they always remember me as the cool German girl. Talking of Germany btw something freaky is happening at the wall. As I was setting my route today I looked down at the boulder and I noticed that Tim had marked three top outs on the top. Funny thing is the tape color and the order make up the flag of Germany. *Proud* Then as I'm looking at the top of belay bar one, I noticed the same thing. The three top outs are in the some color and order as the German Flag. It's kinda freaky. Anyways, I better get to go to bed and let's hope I'm not going to be hyper at 5am in the morning again.

Funny Convo with my old roommate Audrey. Love ya girl.

snowflakeanni: well, have fun with that, i'm gonna be busy at the comp this weekend
silVer1440: oh yeah! vertical horizons?
snowflakeanni: vertical plains audrey
snowflakeanni: It's called Vertical Plains
silVer1440: yeah, that

Weekend

My weekend in a nutshell:
Saturday: Setting routes for 10 hours
Sunday: Studying for 10 hours
I'm hoping next weekend will be less monotone.
Anyway, I got the following from Jay's Blog and I thought it was cool, cause the first thing that popped into my head was pink dress. Ok, i'm off to bed. Night :)

If you read this
You must post a memory of me.
It can be anything you want!
It can be good...or bad.
Just so long as it happened.
Then post this to your journal,
and see what people remember about you

Rants

So here are my rants for today:
~Walmart is stupid for not having any parchment paper in the entire store.
~People that watch you put all your groceries in the car for 10 minutes just so they can park 2 feet closer to the door while holding up all the traffic are even more stupid.
~People in huge cars that drive like they own the world and almost kill you are the most stupid of them all.
~Oh yeah and Enterprise is stupid too cause they are claiming damage to the rental car the I didn't cause. Blah

After I put that up as my away message at least four people asked me if I had a stressful day. To be honest it wasn't that bad. I got to sleep in and then go to my 11 o'clock fluids class. Then to do a quick Walmart run (on which the rantings started). It wasn't anything major though. Maybe I shouldn't use the angry smily face so loosly ;). Anyway after that Erica and I went to Home Depot to buy wood for the Casino Tables for Casino Night on February 19th. Everyone should come (Hint, Hint). After a fun little incident on Slide, Erica and I barely made it to the meeting and then I had to leave again to do some shop training. So except for the running around from 3 til 10 tonite, my day was pretty good and not too stressy.

Now since I'm already in a ranting mood...ok, I admit it I just wanna talk since that's what I do best (besides organizing of course). Interesting subject....crushes. So you get this crush on a guy and you like him and then you get upset if you don't see him for a day and then when you do see him you are dissappointed he didn't talk to you more but at the same time you really enjoy hanging out with him. Then in my case you would never let him know that you actually have a crush on him because you are not really sure if he likes you too and you just don't want to let other people know how you feel. Then at the same time crushes just seem so superficial, so high school, and you are mad at yourself for that, on the other hand something could come out of this, I mean after all there is a reason why you have this crush, why you like this guy. Just something intriguing about him. Anyway, as y'all can tell I'm kinda frustated with this entire crush...emotions...drama...whatever thing. I'm rather confused myself, I'm also mad at myself for keeping my feelings bottled up, for staying in my bubble, for worrying to much about what other people think of me and for rambling on and writting unuseful stuff. Thus I'm just gonna go to bed and have a truly stressful day tomorrow. I think I'm pretty much busy from 8 til 6ish, then I'm probably gonna get something great for dinner before a very stressful week starts at 7 pm with stripping the wall. Alrighty, good talk..(dang opc lingo)..good night.

Feeling the Stress

The stress is setting in. Starting tomorrow at 6:30 the two busiest (maybe even three) weeks will begin. This week I'm just going to be busy with a lot of meetings, training, just one exam and work. Starting on Friday I will probably start living at the wall because I will be setting routes for the climbing comp and I have an E&M exam which basically explains itself already. After Vertical Plains, I have career fair and Casino Night. Maybe after that I'll get a breather. But life is great no matter how busy I get. I had a great time hanging out with all of my friends this weekend and just chilling. My roommates and I redecorated our living room after they both got back from flying to Midland just for fun (Angela is a flight instructor) and then gettting stuck there because of bad weather. Fun times. Except for a tiny bit of drama life is awesome. Ok, gotta eat dinner at Melissa's. My awesome friend who can cook great. :)

It's a great day

I just made myself the best dinner in the world. Well not the best but it was pretty good. I'm a good cook after all. :) Otherwise this weekend has been fun. I hung out with Amy and Davia on Friday night and we watched a bunch of movies including "The Forgotten" (Good Movie) and "Short Circuit" (Classics are always great). Saturday I just hung out with Lib, Jillie, Denis and the entire rest of that crew. We also made s'mores over a bonfire at some guy's houses. Today I finally got to sleep in and then I just did a bunch of homework, cooked myself dinner and chilled. Oh btw the highlight of today: I only coughed twice since this morning. It feels great to finally get rid of that cold. I probably shouldn't have said that, now I jinxed myself as always. To get to a bunch more serious stuff. I'm finally super motivated. I have been on track concerning all my goals for this semester and I am ahead on my homework. Wohoo. On a sadder note I just finished reading "My Land and My People" by the Dalai Lama. The book almost made me cry. I had heard about Tibet being invaded, but I never knew how long and serious this was. The Chinese basically committed genocide and are still doing so after 4 decades. But the worst thing is that almost nothing can be done to change this. Unless of course the United States invades Tibet as well and tries to kick out the Chinese, but that has World War 3 written all over it. Ok, I'm gonna go to bed otherwise this is gonna upset me even more. I'll just finish with this quote by the Dalai Lama.

"This is the worst period in our 2000 year history. This really is the most serious period. At this time, now, there is every danger that the entire Tibetan Nation, with its own unique cultural heritage will completely disappear. The present situation is so serious that it is really a question of life and death. If death occurs, nothing is left." ~Dalai Lama

Stupid Crushes

How come that as soon as I stop having a crush on one guy, I'll get a crush on another guy and it's just as ridiculous and distracting????? Can someone please explain that to me?

Procrastination

So I'm procrastinating by cooking myself my favorite meal which is rice-corn casserole. Yum, I can't wait. Otherwise life is fun. I finished the Wilderness First Aid training last weekend and it was quite a lot of fun. Getting covered in blood and then scaring the guys at the rec center id desk is just great. ;) And now it just simply back to the normal routine: school, homework, eat, sleep. That reminds me I should probably go to bed early tonite cause of the staff meeting at 6am tomorrow. OK, this procrastinating thing is not working, back to E&M.

And it's back to school

I guess I'm gonna write a little bit in here, since today I only have one class at 11, compared to the 4 yesterday, this is nice and chill. I finally got everything organized and I'm back on top of things, which as a perfectionist I really enjoy. Except for the stress I'm really looking foward to this semester. Working at the OPC with all the amazing people is going to be a blast. The Bivying Bastards and the old staff are just incredible people and we all get along great. Anyway, I should probably eat breakfast and get ready for my fluids class. Later

Exhausted

I should probably be unpacking cause all of my clothes just stink. I don't really want to though. I still have to get used to the fact that I'm back in society and civilization and not somewhere in the woods or canyons with a bunch of amazing people whom I'm gonna enjoy working with a lot. Oh well, just to summarize my christmas break. Skiing was cold and awesome and Burns looks pretty funky on skis with his devil hat. Snow in Lake Jackson on Christmas Day and chilling with my family was amazing. Hanging out at the Lake House with Danny and his family was funny. Backpacking in and out of canyons for 8 days with people I barely knew was beyond incredible. I have learned so much while getting soaked cause we slept in a gully, while getting stinky cause we haven't showered for 8 days straight and plenty of other adventures. Compared to nature, civilization is just such a bore. I'm probably gonna change my mind after I slept in my bed on non sloped and non rocky ground. Anyway, my new nick name is Sauerkraut, just ask me about it.

Gone....

Gone backpacking in the Guadalupe Mountains. I'll be back on the 10th, if not come check on me. ;)

Snow in LJ

'Twas was the night before christmas (or actually christmas for us Germans),
When all through the house the Aheimers were stirring (and unwrapping presents).
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that Mom had put presents in there.
The children were nestled all snug on the couch,
While it was lightly snowing outside.
A few flurries stuck to the grass and ground
nothing special to us Aheimers. (Totally doesn't ryhme but it's all good)
The flurries quickly turned to real snow,
And before we knew everything was covered...hohoho.
The news said about less than an inch or so,
But it was more like freaking 5 inches of wet, snowball-fighting-type snow. Yipeeeh....in freaking Lake Jackson by the way. The last time they had now was 15 years ago and that was only flurries. I can't believe we actually have a white christmas. It's so freaking amazing. This morning our entire neighborhood made snowmen. Ours is by far the coolest and most creative, because we Germans actually know how to built a snowman (FYI you roll the snow and don't just make a big pile). Anyway, the pictures are up on the family website for the nonbelievers. Ok, for right now I'm just gonna use my sisters footspa and enjoy the snow and our broken screen (since two panels broke b/c the snow was too heavy). This is sooo unbelievably great.
Snow = Happy Anni :)
Snow in LJ = Super Happy Anni :) :)

Merry Christmas Everyone

Ok, quick update. SKiing in Winterpark was a blast, I wanna move to Colorado so bad now. Anyway, the skiing was great except for the temperatures. The last couple of days we woke up and it was -5 degrees Fahrenheit. That is freaking cold, the weather is insane, supposedly it is snowing in Houston right now. Our airplane was delayed 4 hours last night because it couldn't leave Cleveland, so we got in at about 4 this morning. Anyway, today is Christmas so I'm excited and yes we crazy Europeans celebrate on the 24th. First Christmas present today was my first B in College. Bye, bye 4.0. I'm proud of the B though because it was Dr. Borst's class. Ok, I gotta go help my mom with Christmas preperations. Oh, another cool thing. I lost my driver's license and I found out the airport does not accept Tech IDs (even tough it's a photo ID). BTW Happy 21st Audrey, I'll call you right now to wish you a happy bday. Merry Christmas everyone.

Back in LJ

So after 9 boring, uneventful hours (record time, wohoo) I made it back to LJ. My mom welcomed me with a bday cake and my dad with HDTV on our huge 50 inch flatscreen tv and my lil bro and lil sis with crazyness and whipped cream on their pizza. So I guess everything is back to normal. Tomorrow is going to be a long shopping day and then Friday we leave to go freaking skiing and boarding in awesome Winterpark, CO. I can't wait. Btw Burns don't forget. The 20th, noon, on top of Mary Jane, you better be there or else. :) Anyway, I think I'm gonna hang out with the fam since I only get to see them for about 2 weeks. Oh yeah and to my delight I miraculously pulled of an A in thermodynamics. The only class I ever failed an exam in and was considering dropping. Ok, I'm outta here, everyone have a great break.

Don't wanna study

So since I don't wanna study for my thermo final in 2 hours, I'm gonna write some useless random shallow stuff in here.

My mom is currently in New York City with the ladies from her Monday Night Group. I guess those rich housewives have nothing better to do. Just kidding. I'm happy my mom gets to do all kinds of stuff especially since only my lil bro is left in the house.

I'm going skiing in Winterpark, CO on the 17th. I'm probably gonna end up hitting the slopes with Burns since he and his family are going too. Burns you are about to eat some powder. Oh, I can't wait. The last time I went skiing was two years ago.

Except for finals. I'm having tons of fun right now. I'm probably not gonna leave til Wednesday so that I can chill and hang out some more. How come that I have partied more during finals week than all semester long?

Ok, I'm gonna make myself some lunch so that I won't be starving during the suckiest final ever. Later

Horrible Horrible Names - I think I'll stick with Anika

1. YOUR PORN STAR NAME: (Name of first pet / Street you live on): Freezerburn 32nd Street
2. YOUR MOVIE STAR NAME: (Name of your favorite snack food / Grandfather's first name): Duplo Emil
3. YOUR FASHION DESIGNER NAME: (First word you see on your left / Favorite restaurant): Flamingo Willi Joe’s
4. EXOTIC FOREIGNER ALIAS: (Favorite Spice / Last Foreign Vacation Spot): Paprika Germany
5. SOCIALITE ALIAS: (Silliest Childhood Nickname / Town Where You First Partied): Anuska Drochtersen
6. "FLY Boy" ALIAS (a la J. Lo): (First Initial / First Two or Three Letters of your Last Name): A. Ahe
7. ICON ALIAS: (Something Sweet Within Sight / Any Liquid in Your Kitchen): Gold-Bears Milk
8. DETECTIVE ALIAS: (Favorite Baby Animal / Where You Went to High School): Puppy Brazoswood
9. BARFLY ALIAS: (Last Snack Food You Ate / Your Favorite Alcoholic Drink): Flips Long Island Iced Tea
10. SOAP OPERA ALIAS: (Middle Name / Street Where You First Lived): Almuth Gauensieker Feldstrasse

Bday

I had an absolutly fabulous birthday. It started off with me semi-sleeping in still 9 and then unwrapping presents. As I walked to my only class that day I got soaked from hail and it was actually quite fun. Then I just chilled around the house, replanted my flowers, hung up my huge German flag and so on. At 7 Lib and Denis picked me up to go eat at Johnny Carino's and that's when the evening began. Of course the guys couldn't resist taking me to Cricket's and making my 21st memorable. So thanks JD for getting me drunk. Thanks Laura, Jonathan and everyone else for buying me tasty shots. Thanks Jay for giving the best hugs. Thanks Lib for being my DD and making sure I don't get a hang over. Thanks Lindsay, Burns, Denis and Lib for playing Trivial Pursuit til 3 in the morning. Thanks Danny, Bob and Jennifer for coming to dinner and being great friends in general. Thanks Brett for showing up even though we don't hang out much. Thanks Angela, Audrey and Ellen for calling me to wish me a happy bday. It made my day. Thanks Jason for being dissappointed that you didn't get to see me drunk, because that was you goal for the last year or so. Thanks Julie and Sandee for being great roomies and baking me a cake. Thanks Erica and Melissa for wishing me a happy bday several times. Thanks Dillon, Amy C and Amy C, Jillian, Sarah C, Heath, Lauren Itz, Crystal, Erin and everyone else that simply said happy bday and enjoy your day. And of course everyone else that I forgot. I love my friends and of course my family. Thanks Mom, Dad, Kaki and Xander for always being there for me and singing me happy bday over the phone.

Thanksgiving

Back from a wonderful Thanksgiving with my wonderful family and as always I'm gonna wake up tomorrow and start crying because of all the stuff I have to do. But that's life and that's all I'm gonna say.

Only 1:30

It's only 1:30 and I already had an interesting day. I failed my E&M exam at 11 this morning. Discovering only 5 minutes before the exam that I had left my homework that was due today at home didn't help much either. After that in my communications class I find out that only the rough draft was due today. At least I have the paper done now. Then when I drove back to campus to turn in my homework all these crazy Lubbock drivers and pedestrians are just set on getting me in another accident. Being really tired didn't help much either. So I'm not gonna leave the house except to go climbing today. I can't really go anywhere anyway because I'll be doing all this homework that is due tomorrow.

Treib mich weiter, gib mir meine Hoffnung zurueck....

As I was driving over to Lib's house today. I was listening to my favorite German band Pur. This song in particular I thought fitted very well. I'm trying to find a translation for it, but of course even if I do it's just not gonna sound and mean the same. It's basically about complacency and lack of motivation. Something that I'm really lacking right now. As I was doing my physics homework today aka copying my physics homework I realized once again that I'm really lacking my movtivation. I didn't even want to try. I think it's mainly burn out cause this is already my fifth semester. Another thing is that during the spring semester I learned how to get by, get good grades and have tons of fun at the same time. Now this semester it's not working out anymore cause my classes got a lot more difficult. I'm also expecting that I will do good and that everything will work out, because that's what has always happened in my life. I never had to work extremly hard to get something. So now when that doesn't happend it's extremly discouraging. And for some reason this is not making any sense. It's in my head anyways and that's all that matters. Anyway, I'm gonna get off the computer and hang out with Lib and Denis some more.


Warum hast Du sie verlassen und verläßt Du auch noch mich
sie hasten durch die Straßen und verlieren ihr Gesicht.

Sie sind bequem, gefügig, schlafwandeln durch die Korridore
nur noch Brot und Spiele, ist das wirklich schon genug ?

Ist der Weg zu weit
jedes In- und Aus sich egh´n verlorne Zeit.

Auf meiner Reise gab es wirklich viel zu seh´n
Hab´ vermutlich bei der Eile glatt die Hälfte überseh´n.

Und die schnell erreichte Ziele machen träge, satt
das Blut wird müde. Wo ist die Windmühle, gegen die ich kämpfen kann ?

Sag mir wie, nicht wann
Sag mir, was ich wirklich kann

Mächtig viel Theater, tief drin im Labyrinth
abseits der irren Wege, die vorgezeichnet sind, oh Bitte

Treib mich weiter
Gib mir meine Hoffnung zurück
Führ mich in Versuchung und hilf mir
Zeig mir mehr als billiges Glück

All die Tiere folgen dem Instinkt
fraglich, was die Menschheit unserer Mutter Erde bringt.

Ein großes Segen-Fluch-Getriebe
voller Lust und Liebe, Leid und Lüge
wenn ich mich betrüge, betrüg ich dann auch Dich ?

halt den Atem an
frag mich bitte nicht wie lang

Die Wahl der Qual ist schwierig, wie hätten sie´s denn gern ?
Bin ich nur ein Stückchen Schale allein weit ab vom Kern ?

Treib mich weiter ...

Manchmal hör´ ich seltsame Lieder, die hin und wieder
in mir drin das Weiter suchen

Es klingt nach oben, es klingt nach vorn
Ich hab´ die Gabe - zum Glück - noch nicht verlor´n

Treib mich weiter ....

It's going to be a long day today, but that's ok since most of my days are gonna be like that until finals. But right after finals I get to go skiing with my family in Winterpark, CO and then it's off to LCT. I have no clue where we are going to go for that one. Looks like I'm gonna have an exciting break. Wohooo, I can't wait. I'm extremely tired of school. Papers and exams are just not fun. But what can you do? Otherwise nothing interesting has happened since the last post. Oh wait, I did get a rental car so that I don't have to bum rides. It's a Grand Am so nothing special like Heath's Dodge Minivan. I would have loved that car cause my friends already call me Soccer Mom. Hihi, anyway I'm off to take a shower and let the day begin.

Sometimes the wind speaks to me.
I am the wind when it speaks to me.
As I am walking,
no longer do I know time.
For the sound sounds the same
as it has always been.

Oh!
What bliss!
Self -
No more.
Time -
Don't know!

Only Truth, Truth, Truth.

-Seasmile

My poor car

On my way to class yesterday afternoon I'm about to turn right onto Brownfield Highway from 19th Street when I noticed a red truck in front of me. I think to myself you better slow down otherwise you are gonna do the same thing Sandee did and rear-end the truck. Because we have to yield both the truck and I are stopped, I look left and behind me to check the traffic and see no car coming and gun it. The only problem is the car in front of me hadn't moved yet. And since his bumper is at the height of my hood it totally smashed my right light, scrunches up the hood and cracks the radiator completely. The steering is messed up too and who knows what else. My car got towed in today to be fixed and luckily the insurance pays for all of it except the deductible. And right now I want nothing more but to be 21. Cause if I would be I could get a free rental car but since I'm not 21 that doesn't work and I'm gonna be bumming rides of everybody for the next week or so. It's noting really new, it's not like I haven't done that for the first two years up here at college. :)

Cancelled Class

I was runnning late to Thermo again this morning. Luckily Thermo was cancelled, so that's why I'm sitting in the ME lab right now doing nothing. Ugh, I want my motivation back....right now. Anyway I think I'm gonna play some games, then read magazines in my Mechanics class, then do Mechanics hw and I will get it done today and if that's the only thing i will get accomplished, then materials, SWE meeting, Paradigm and hanging out. Sounds like a fun day. Btw I finally got my Travel Letter which means I can actually leave this country and get back in. Wohoo. Otherwise life is great, I miss my friends and that's about it. Later

No Motivation

I have plenty of homework to do before I leave this friday to go climbing and I probably should start studying for my exams next week and work out some more and start thinking about what I'm gonna get my family for christmas and the list goes on and on and.... I don't wanna do any of it. All my motivation is gone. So I guess I can wait til it comes back or I can just get my act together and start working off my to do list. Later

Some friends have visions or dreams of the Buddha,
where He is all magnificent,
smiling, beckoning…

But what would you do if you see the Buddha in person?
After bowing, paying respect?
Do you just gaze on in a daze of amazement?
Do you just bask in His glory?

Truth is,
if you do not ask for the Dharma,
you are not a true Buddhist, not a Truth-seeker;
you are merely a Buddha worshipper.

This is the title.... :)

Mulan just has to be about the best Disney movie ever besides Finding Nemo of course. I just love that movie, and it's especially good when you are procrastinating. Motivation this semester is just lacking but only about 5 more weeks or so and then I get to go skiing with my wonderful family and just chilling down in Lake Jackson without any snow. Oh man the snow yesterday and today just made me so happy. I didn't have a snowball fight or built a snowman but I still love the snow. Ok, I probably should be going to bed cause I have a long day tomorrow of class, Wiley's Way, exam, physics hw and then probably Daybreak. Anyway, good night peeps and I love y'all even if I haven't talked to you in forever.

Once again I love life.

Hueco was a blast this weekend. I love that place. It's so incredibly beautiful and inspiring. And I finally sent "Nobody gets out of here alive" which is only about the most gorgeous problem out there. Oh man, I should change my major to premed and then go to Tech's Medical School in El Paso just so I can go climbing there all the time. The sunsets and the moonrises are just incredible and I swear the sky is ten times bluer than in Lubbock. This was just exactly what I needed for a break. I feel so much better, so much more inspired now. Life is just so beautiful. And showers are too, that's why I'm gonna take one now.

Be careful of how you perceive,
of how you interpret the world.
Because your world is exactly the way you perceive it!

The world is your perception.
You personally endorse
each and every one of your delusional perceptions.
You live and die by them!

Late....

It definitely about 1:17 am on a Tuesday night, which is rather unusual for me. It's not that unusual to about half of my friends, whom I do miss terribly btw, but I should be sleeping by now. This week is finally not busy anymore. I actually got to climb today and then I had training for Wiley's Way which is just an amazing outreach program. It's gonna be fun. This weekend I'll be out of town climbing. Finally....since the last trip I took was Labor Day Weekend. I can't wait. I miss being outdoors sooooo much. (BTW the moon is absolutly gorgous tonite.) This weekend is going to be fun. I truly need to get out of Lubbock badly right now. There has been just too much stress and too many worries about school but mainly about my friends. And there has been quite a couple of dissappointments. So a change of scenery is much needed. Ok, bedtime since it is 1:26 am now. Good night my friends.

Awesome Quotes, cause they won't fit on my profile

I have gotten to love this one website called "The Daily enlightenment." It has simple reflections for each day. It's awesome cause these will actually make you think. So I'm just putting a couple on here since they won't fit on my profile.

The Truth cannot be conceived.
It can only be experienced.
Do not think you can think of the Truth.
All you can do is see it.

The Buddha did not imagine or concoct the Truth;
He saw it.

Thus, in meditation,
do not think, just see.
Meditation in the end is just two things -
stilling your mind so that you can look at it so clearly,
that you realize the naked Truth about everything.

Once you think about the Truth,
it is just a thought about it,
not Truth itself.

When you seek Truth like a thing,
all you get are traces of it,
but not it.



Treasure everything you have in the moment,
because it is only here in the moment.

Be unattached to everything you have in the moment,
because it is only here in the moment.

Balance these in the moment
and you are on the Middle Path.

This one is especially good because it is about desires and I have talked to a bunch of people about it while we discussed religion.

Any desire that leads
to undesirable effects
or to more desires
is undesirable.

The only desire that leads
to the totally desirable,
to the end of all desires,
is the aspiration for Enlightenment.
And even that has to be let go of in good time.

~The Daily enlightenment

I love life

I finally got to see everybody again today, which made me so happy. After being busy for about the last 2 to 3 weeks I really needed this. Of course I wish I would have had the chance to talk to certain people some more and actually have a good conversation with them and not just say hi. But eh what do you expect, I just have too many friends. J/k. I love my friends and I love life. I have a physics exam on Monday, which is gonna kick my butt, but I'm not gonna worry about it until Sunday. And that's when I'm gonna wake up and cry. Paradigm was fun today. I really missed it for some reason even though the only time I ever went I ended up crying because I was so confused. Today it just made me really happy. I was just in the mood to sing at the top of my lungs (offkey of course since I'm not musically talented). Afterwards Laura ask me a really good question though. The simple question was "Did you really mean what you were singing?" and the simple answer would be "I don't know!" And that's my answer and it doesn't confuse me, which is the good thing. Geez, I love life, it's just so beautiful. And you don't really have to believe in God to appreciate all the beauty that surrounds us at every moment, Danny. Anyways, I love sleep just as much as I love life. Therefore I shall go to bed now and not pull allnighters like about 70% of my friends. Love y'all guys. Nighty Night

I'm back

I'm back from conference...Milwaukee was fun...dreams are weird...my SWE girls are the best...American Airlines sucks...and I'm gonna be busy as crap for the next two weeks...

My mom rocks my socks off

Today has been a soso day but then my mom totally made my day. She actually sent me a care packet with a bunch of German food including chocolate which I needed desperately because my supply was running low. My mom is simply the greatest. Funny part is my mom also knows my cooking habits, because she even send me cooking instructions. I'm really not that bad of a cook. Anyways I gotta get back to tons of stuff that I have to get done before conference. I will be leaving at 4 on Wednesday to go to the National Society of Women Engineers Conference in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. It is gonna be freezing but it will be tons of fun. I'll be back late Sunday. Since my phone isn't nationwide, I'll talk to everyone when I get back. Oh and thanks to all of my awesome friends that left comments in response to my last post and the ones that didn't. I love y'all bunches. Laters...

Life and death are of supreme
importance.
Time swiftly passes by and opportunity
is lost.
Each of us should strive to awaken.
Awaken. Take heed, do not squander
your life.
~EVENING CHANT

Bad Bad Day

It all started last night as I was about to go to sleep. I was not in a very good mood and felt quite unhappy. I thought to myself, just go to sleep, tomorrow is another day and you'll feel better just as always. And then it hit me that to be honest I haven't been that happy in a while. I always thought I was but when I really think about it I'm not. I know this sounds really depressing, but the positive thing is I know why I'm unhappy. For one there is a certain feeling I have to get rid off and two the all to common spiritual void. One is gonna be tough and two is gonna be even thougher. I know that finding God is not an easy thing to do, but it is still easier in this environment with a lot of people that think the same way and can help you out. Struggling through this by yourself just makes it so much thougher. I know that's not an excuse, but I just wish somebody would be here to help me with this. It is just gonna take a whole lot of determination and right now I'm simply lacking that. I have been such a slacker this semester. I'm somehow not motivated at all. The good thing is that I'm not that stressed, but somehow I don't like that either. Ughh, life is just such a mess right now. I'm just thinking way to too much and I'm thinking in circles. Why can't I just let things be and enjoy my life day by day? Ok, this is really frustrating me. I'm gonna go to bed cause tomorrow is another day. Hopefully a better one. :/

"Seeking traces of the mind
is like looking for footprints of birds flying in the sky.
They cannot be found,
though intangible karmic imprints exist.

Likewise, when we pass through life,
may we leave no unnecessary traces,
no trail of mental or physical destruction;
only good karmic imprints."

~The Daily Enlightment

Lot of feelings

Jealous, sad, happy, weird, lonely. My feelings are really messed up this morning. I did have a blast last night with all of my friends but for some reason I feel like I'm losing touch with a lot of them and I miss them. At the same time I just feel old. I'm only two years older than all of the freshmen but still. For some weird reason a lot of them just really annoy me. Which is not a nice thing to say or feel, but I do. There have just been a lot of changes since I first got to Tech. I remember hanging out with the same group of friends all the time and now I'm just meeting all these new people, which I don't mind. But I always hang out with a different group and through that I feel as if I'm losing touch with a lot of my old good friends and I frankly don't like it. It just makes me sad. I can't exactly define why. Ok, time to put on a happy face and get ready for the game.

Pondering....

I almost forgot to read my daily reflection today which would have been bad because today is such a great one.

When we begin questioning about our existence,
perhaps the question to begin with is -
"Do we exist at all in the first place?"

Our existential crisis,
or suffering from not understanding our existence,
begins from grasping to the illusion that we exist.

What are we...
but a collection of shifting feelings, perceptions,
mental formations and consciousnesses...
in a body of constantly changing elements?

If there is no real self, who is the questioner?

~ The Daily Enlightment

Isn't this just a great quote to reflect upon, to think about? It really does make you wonder if there is a self or if we are just a small part of something bigger after all. But what really defines existence in the first place?....

Whiter than the stones
of Stone Mountain—
autumn wind.
~BASHO

And another great short but poetic quote. I love quotes, they make you stop and think or sometime they just explain a complex situtation with a just a few words. My favorite one for this week is simply

You existence is enough to make at least one person happy.

I don't know who said that one, but it is so true. But then you got to question again if we really exist after all. :) Maybe I should ask a philosophy major on this one. ;)

BTW girls I love y'all. You are my bestest friends ever and y'all make college so much fun. :)

Content

I'm sitting here talking to Laura about how we are gonna get her telegrams delivered. We need some hot boy on a horse or motorcycle. I know that this sounds random, but since Laura's phone doesn't work anymore and her internet was down for the weekend. Lib, Laura and I returned to old school communication. Lib and I sent Laura a letter Sunday night to invite her to watch a movie with us. We even sealed it with wax. It was great. She got that letter today. Now our telegram boy idea isn't working too well. So if any guys are interested in this job just give us a call actually even better deliver us a telegram. :) Otherwise I'm just really content just sitting here listening to the thunderstorm. I have tons of things to do, but I'm not really worried about it. I think this semester is going to be my slacking semester. Anyway, life is just great, I'm so thankful for all my wonderful friends and I love them all so much. And now it's bed time. Guts Naechtle

As always stressed

So yesterday was all chill. I went to class and then just to the mall, climbing and walking with Laura. Then this morning it hit me. I looked at my to do list and almost wanted to cry. I'm gonna be pretty busy for the next 2 weeks. I guess I'll see everyone in two weeks then. J/k, I'll be around just really stressed. Ok, gotta do my physics hw.

Weird Mood

It's probably because I'm tired and I'm listening to Fiona Apple but I'm in a strange mood today. Talking to Burns about religion last night definitely made me realize again that I'm just beginning with my journey and I hate that. It makes me feel like I haven't accomplished anything and it just simply makes me unhappy and empty. It also doesn't help that a lot of my friends seem to be stressed and unhappy right now and since I care about them, it makes me feel bad as well. Honestly right now know I just want to go hug all of my friends and tell them how much they mean to me. I feel like I don't do that enough but I should and a lot of them probably don't know how much I care and that think about them day and night and hope that they will be happy. Ok, this is causing me to be in an even weirder mood. Something positive for day, today is the Day of German Unity :)

Realise this -
such a simple thing
as easing yourself at the loo,
you have to do by yourself.
No one can do it for you.
Much more you have to do,
by yourself,
to release yourself,
totally,
from all unease.

The Truth is what you know. If you do not know it, you only choose to believe in something that might, or might not be the Truth. Be without choosing. Why play the guessing game? A correct guessing is still only a guessing. To be Enlightened is to be "choicelessly knowing," with no alternative knowledge or doubt. Be in the light. Know the Truth. Don't just agree with the Enlightened; become Enlightened

Failed Thermo Exam

So it did fail that thermo 2 exam. I got a grand total of 68. Isn't that great. Actually not this just means I have to work my butt of to get a decent grade. I'm shooting for a B. We'll see what happens. Otherwise life is great again. I'm not too stressed. This weekend should be fun. I haven't really decided if I'm going to Clovis or not cause I would only be there for a day. We'll see. Ok, gotta do more hw. Later

Stressed

Stressed....if you want to know why ask Laura cause I just vented to her majorly. Thanks Laura for being an awesome friend. Venting helps so much. I was gonna write this hugh entry about being stressed and all, but know I don't even know what to write about. I just started organizing and writing tons of to do lists etc. and now I'm fine I feel like I'm in control again, which is stupid because nobody is ever really in control of anything. But that's me... a control freak and I stress to easily. Only cure for that is listening to Enya and know that everything is going to be alright. Ok, back to my to do lists. Btw caring to much about a person can hurt.

Psalm 73
23 Yet I am always with you;
you hold me by my right hand.
24 You guide me with your counsel,
and afterward you will take me into glory

This is the verse I had picked for my confirmation about 7 years ago. I don't know what to think about it or if I even want to think about it. I have changed so much since then, since I left Germany and I'm not even there yet wherever I'm going. Ok, I'm confusing the crap out of myself. I like the following more.

A Zen saying says,
"When the Mind TRIES, the consciousness flickers."

Yoda, the Jedi Master from "Star Wars" says,
"Do or not do - there is no TRY."

Morpheus, Neo's trainer in "The Matrix" says,
"Stop TRYING to hit me and hit me!"

Stonepeace says,
"Hold something and TRY to drop it. Can you?"
"TRY not to think about a pink elephant. Can you?"

Zeph says,
"TRYING is the uncertainty,
the fickleness of the heart,
the half-heartedness of intention.
No one became enlightened by trying.
You have to be wholehearted to attain it."


Aaahhhh, my desk is covered in post-its. How am I gonna get this done?

So true!

There is essentially nothing out there,
or here,
that is boring.

There are no boring times and places,
no boring people,
no boring books,
no boring movies,
no boring songs,
and no boring poems...
not even this one,
no matter how dry this might seem.

There is only the bored state of mind -
that fails to mindfully appreciate,
to enjoy...
this moment,
no matter what it presents.

The bored mind yearns to get away,
to an ever elusive better time and place,
that is always somewhere else,
that is always missing here.

Don't kill boredom.
Don't kill time.
Don't kill the moments of your life.
Realise the richness of now - now.

~The Daily Enlightment

Computer :)

I finally got my computer back. Wohoo. And I still have all of my data. Double Wohoo. Ok, I really gotta get back to this physics hw. So I'm just gonna ask one question. What's the deal with people skipping classes all the time? Classes are the reason you are here for in the first place. I just don't understand it. Oh btw I love discussions about religion with my roomies. It's great. :)

Believe nothing, O monks, merely because you have
been told it . . . or because it is traditional, or because
you yourselves have imagined it. Do not believe what
your teacher tells you merely out of respect for the
teacher. But whatsoever, after due examination and
analysis, you find to be conducive to the good, the
benefit, the welfare of all beings—that doctrine believe
and cling to, and take it as your guide.
~THE BUDDHA

Out of the loop

I know that I have been rather busy over the last week and I didn't hung out much with people, but it is amazing how much out of the loop you can become in one week. Since I'm a rather curious person I hate being out of the loop and not knowing what's going on. I know that some of it is y'all business but I still want to know. ;)I hate it when people don't talk to me. It makes me feel as if I'm not worth talking too. Anyway that's my ranting for today and I better head back to my car and try to get out of this campus after an awesome game and btw my computer is getting fixed, the motherboard was broken and they are gonna reinstall windows, which means I will loose my data, which is just magnificient. :)

Thermo

Thermo sucks. Somebody should just kill my teacher. That test was just totally unfair. I'm gonna be surprised if I made more than a 50 on that. Ok, done raging cause I'm not really good at this. I'm more likely to start crying anyway than start yelling once I get that exam back on Tuesday. Ok, that was the negative thing of today. Otherwise I just had a long day of classes and meetings. I was kinda in a weird mood today. It was the I don't know if I should be upset or happy moods. I guess a lot of it has to do with the fact that I'm once again stuck concering my spiritual life. I really gotta work on that, but it's always tough once you are stuck in the day to day routine and just being busy with tons of stuff. Ok, enough about that, the positive things for today. Awesome, absolutly gorgous Lubbock sunset tonite, my computer is actually getting fixed, so it shouldn't be too long til i get it back....hopefully.My car doesn't seem to have any damage from my encounter with the concrete block and the weekend is here. Wohoo :) Just a couple of quotes to think about.

When one tugs at a
single thing in nature,
he finds it attached to
the rest of the world.
~JOHN MUIR

When you try to understand
everything, you will not
understand anything. The
best way is to understand
yourself, and then you will
understand everything.
~SHUNRYU SUZUKI

In these words I can
sum up everything
I’ve learned about life:
It goes on.
~ROBERT FROST

Long Post About Basically Nothing

Sitting in the ME computer lab doing tons of stuff on the computer which I can't do at home since my comp is still being fixed. Anyways since Saturday a lot of stuff happened and I guess since I have nothing better to do I'll tell y'all about my life, so nothing really thoughtful except that crushes suck.
Saturday night I finally went over to Jillie's and Lib's house to hang out with their roommates etc. It was fun except that I'm absolutely horrible at MarioCart.
Sunday I just chilled, had cinnamon rolls in the morning and then ran tons of errands. I finally got a shelf for the kitchen so that we don't have to store our food on the dryer anymore and I also got a bunch of flowers for planters on our front porch. We'll see how long those will last because I'm lacking the green thumb.
Monday I went to class did homework and then went to Women in Climbing. And yes there is waaaay to many people at the wall. No offense to the newbies, but having a little less people is more relaxing. After that I hypothetically asked what would happen if we would drop Jason's Nalgene from the third floor of the rec down the staircase all the way to the bottom. The hypothetical answer would be that it doesn't break because Nalgenes are unbreakable. The actually answer is more like the bottom broke out of the Nalgene. But it gets even better. After that I almost broke my car by actually driving over a concrete divider in the rec parking lot. My Neon totally didn't like that guessing from the scraping noises. But I have an excuse I was talking to Laura on the phone and I can't multitask so I was distracted. Then it was a fun night with the girls driving around town and Lib freaking out :)
Tuesday I didn't do too much just going to class and stuff and then getting about 3 emergency phone calls after my materials class at five. So I totally freaked and stressed out and my mood got gradually worse and worse and it doesn't help when people keep on talking to you and messing with you and annoying the crap out of you. But it was all good when I went climbing that evening. Climbing just relaxes me a whole lot.
Today I just studied for my thermo exam and I'm about to go to Bahama Bucks with my awesome roomie Julie. Wow this is a long post about basically nothing. I do promise a very emotional and raging post after my thermo test tomorrow. I hate that class. Anyway my fingers are about to freeze of since it's winter in the ME lab. :)

Stupid Computer

At the library again because my computer sucks. It won't boot at all. So I'm gonna have to fix that which will take a while. But you know there is always the cell so if you wanna talk to me call....now. Otherwise life is just great. I had a blast hanging with all my old buddies yesterday. Hung out with my girls on Thursday. School is not too stressy and life is just great...except for a couple of small things that just dissappoint you and make you simply sad. Anyways, i gotta try to fix my computer. Later :)

Social Security Number

Wohoo, I finally have my own social security number. I haven't memorized it yet, but now I can finally do what I couldn't do before, like tell people what my SSN is when they ask for it and stuff. BTW sorry guys this means that I don't need plan B anymore. I'm so excited, my very own SSN. I can't believe it. Wohoooooooo... :)

Climbing

AWESOME trip this weekend. I forgot how much I missed being outdoors and climbing and sitting around the campfire just goofing off. I actually climbed my first lead climbs this time and it felt so good. Scary but good. And all the new members are so much fun s and my old buddies are even more fun and I'm just totally excited about this semester. Wohoo. Except for some car trouble again, this trip was AWESOME. Ok nighty night.

Smoothie King

Raspberry Sunrise from Smoothie King. Geez, i love that smoothie. Hopefully they are gonna be done with the Smoothie King on 19th and Memphis pretty soon. Life is just so great. Especially girls nights. Geez, I love those too. I'm totally excited about climbing this weekend. Ok, gotta do some more hw before I leave. Later

Not cool at all

It's only the third day of school and I already don't know how I'm going to be able to finish everything in such little time. I miss everybody, I have a stomach ache and I feel strangely lonely. Finishing this thermo hw and getting some sleep is probably gonna make me be a little more positive...hopefully. This weekend should be fun though. Cause I love climbing outdoors and I have missed it so much over the summer. But I already made the decision not to go out climbing every single weekend because otherwise I'm gonna go nuts...seriously. Enough complaining, I'm gonna finish this hw and then go to bed.

Climbing Club

Wow, wow and wow. We had such a massive turnout for our climbing club meeting tonite it was insane. Three times as many people showed up for this meeting than normally. It was crazy. The wall is always packed as well. I'm kinda hoping that not as many people show up anymore. It makes it more fun. But the Datil trip this weekend is gonna be fun, especially since I get to try out my new sleeping bag. :)

I also changed my blog because the sunflowers dissappeared on the other one and I could never figure out where they went. So I just got a new template even though I really liked the sunflowers. Oh well...

Otherwise nothing much is going on. Classes are like usual and I'm getting back into the school routine. I do like it but at the same time I wish it was summer again. It's only been 2 days and I already miss all my friends I hung out with the last two weeks. That's probably because I never call. I should just start calling people on the way to class cause all I do is walk anyways. Yes I should most definitely do that, because this last weekend at the lake I realized how much my friends really mean to me. And not just my friends I went to the Lake with but all my SWE girls, my climbing buddies etc. There is just so little time to hang out and see all of them. Oh well, it's hw time.

My SSN

The BCIS finally processed all of our Green Card papers and now I'm offically allowed to work and I will get my very own social security number. I'm totally estatic about it ,except for the fact that I now have to start looking for a job which I have never done in my entire life. :/ I guess we'll see how that goes. Otherwise, life has been great. This weekend at the lake was awesome. Tons of floating and laying out and scary dives. First day of school wasn't too bad either. I think I can handle this semester. Ok, time to do hw and trying to stay positive about it.

Sunflowers

Somehow the sunflowers dissapeared but I'm not in the mood to figure out where they went. So just imagine a bunch of sunflowers for now. Otherwise life has been great. I finally have everything in my room where I want it to be and I have had so much fun hanging out with all of my friends. Speaking of friends, to my amusement I have noticed over the last couple of days on more than one occasion that events and stories change quite a bit depending on who you talk to. Anyway, I gotta get up early tomorrow so I'm going to bed.

The path up and down
is one and the same.
~HERACLITUS

Eternity is not
something that begins
after you are dead. It is
going on all the time.
We are in it now.
~CHARLOTTE PERKINS GILMAN

Sitting in the library

I'm sitting in the library and surfing the net for probably a couple more hours. Not having the internet at the house is not too bad right now, but that will change pretty quickly once school will start, so I'm estatic that I'm finally gonna be online on Monday. Otherwise I'm basically done moving in and organizing my stuff even the curtains are finally hanging although they put up quite a fight. And we gotta get a kitchen table, cause Heidi took it with her when she moved out. So I have been sitting in the living room watching the Olympics while I'm eating breakfast. Speaking of the Olympics...the Germans are finally starting to win a couple of medals and the German Soccer women are playing the US in the semifinal on Monday. All I can say is that we better win.

Couple of random thoughts:
My sister moved into her dorm at U of H today. It's a strange feeling that she is now going to college too.
Bought my books today and spend an insane amout of money again.
Gotta go the Student Engineering Council leadership retreat all day tomorrow. We get free food, so it won't be that bad.
I should go to Barnes & Nobel sometime this week because I'm out of books to read. As a matter of fact I'll go right now, cause I have nothing better to do.

Coldfront

It's 9:30 in the morning and the temperature is only 76 degrees with 64% humidity. The high for today will be only 88 degrees. I love this weather, it has been like this for the last couple of days and it feels so good. I know that everybody is laughing that this is called a cold front but for August down here the weather is fantastic. Ok, gotta eat some yummy breakfast and then start packing cause I leave tomorrow morning for Lubbock. Wohoo. I can't wait.

Random Stuff

I'm finally done with my painting project and it looks pretty neat. We'll see how many more projects my mom can give me before I leave. I think there are a bunch of pictures left that I'm suppose to hang up.

Just to rub it in some more for all the people that don't have a beach. The beach was awesome on Wednesday. At first it didn't look like it because when we drove over the huge bridge going to Surfside we couldn't see a thing because it was raining so hard. The wind was pretty intense as well and my mom and I wondered if we had missed the news about a hurricane coming in. We then turned around and drove to Quintana Beach which is only ten minutes away. It wasn't raining there and the sun came out later on. It was fantastic. Because of the storm that came through we had some pretty awesome big waves. The body surfing was sweet. Later on we found some craps and started chasing those around. Man, I love the beach.

My brother started school yesterday. He is a freshman now at B'wood. I asked him how his first day went and all he said was: "Tomorrow I'm bringing a jacket, it's freezing in there." Good thing I never had school in the fish tank. Otherwise school is pretty much routine again, except that Alex and his friends ended up in the girl's gym while going to soccer practice. But that' s my lil brother for ya.

Otherwise I'm just gonna be chillin today. I might start packing but I still have the weekend. I also have to wash my car sometime before I leave, because parking it under a 100 year old pecan tree makes it pretty nasty.

Beauty

Got up early today to work on the paintings. It's taken a lot longer than I expected. But they will be done by the time I leave on Monday to drive back to Lubbock. I'm excited, I get to move into my new house and my sister and my mom are coming with me. Yea... And I'm going to the beach today. :P

Call me Picasso

My latest summer project is coming along pretty well. My family finally agreed on the design of the paintings and I will start painting them tomorrow. Wohoo. I like art as long as I only have to paint squares and triangles cause I suck at painting landscapes or people. I'm already working on my signature so that I can sign my masterpieces later on. :)

Otherwise I have been chilling a lot. I have been to the beach a couple of times. We saw tons of jellyfish and mullets, a bunch of craps and the coolest thing yet, a stingray flying out of the water about 3 feet in front of us. It was pretty sweet looking. Of course everybody freaked out and fleed out of the water. It was pretty funny especially with the recent shark attacks we had down here. So that why everybody loves our pool. We go swimming in it daily. It's like a bathtub since the temperature is about 90 degrees Fahrenheit. But just yesterday I was sitting in it slurping a strawberry smoothie. It felt like I was on vacation. I love it. So I'm gonna enjoy it as much as I can before I drive up to Lubbock in a week. Btw speaking of smoothies, I wonder if the Smoothie King on 19th and Memphis is open yet. Hmmm

Peanut Butter & Summer Project

My mom and I gave up pretty quickly on our summer project to clean up and organize the garage once we discovered yet again that August is the hottest month of the year especially down here in Lake Jackson. We then looked for a different project and decided to hang up all the old family pictures by the stairs. It took us two days of sorting out, getting new frames and hanging up the pictures, but it's finally done now. Our next project is to create some own artwork for the living room. We bought a couple of canvases and some acrylic paint and we'll shall see what the result will be.

This morning I got up pretty early. I guess 8 o'clock can be considered early during summer holidays. I swam a couple of rounds in the pool and then laid out for a bit. And I absolutely love it. It's still reasonably cool and laying out in the early morning sun just feels fantastic. Peanut butter is fantastic too. It's quite strange now that I think about it. I used to hate peanut butter. One could chase me all the way to the moon and back with that stuff. But now I can't get enough of it. I eat at least one peanut butter toast each day. Yummy.

Sears Call Center

I woke up this morning with the sun shining in my face, at the same time I heard it thundering and raining outside. It was one of those really funky rainshowers. I then ventured downstairs to make some breakfast and found my mom talking on the phone. Every so often she would say "Repair Service", "Dryer" etc. I figured she was talking to the Sears automated call center to get someone to fix our dryer. Then she started yelling "Help" and "It's not the pump, it's the belt" into the phone.  After a couple of more minutes my mom just slams down the phone and makes this weird annoyed face. I just burst out laughing cause it was so funny. After agrueing a couple more times with the automated call service my mom finally gets someone on the phone. By that time my sister, my mom and I can't stop laughing. It was just way to funny. These automated call centers are simply stupid.

Today is chill day at this house. That means I get to finish reading "Angels & Demons" by Dan Brown. Awesome author. Bad thing he has only written 4 books so far and I already read 3. But my mom has this awesome bookshelf with tons of books. It's like heaven. Tomorrow we'll probably go to Astroworld and Saturday we will finally for the first time ever go the to the famous Clute Mosquito Festival. :) We'll see what that's all about.

Tubing and Pilates

So a certain friend and roommate of mine always talked about once she transferred schools she wouldn't be doing her homework or anything but instead would be tubing down the river all day long. I have been keeping a close look at her blog and noticed that she always plans but never actually ends up going tubing and she has been there about two weeks now. I think this is just hilarious. Geez Audrey freaking go tubing since you always talk about it. Oh man this is making me smile. My indecisive roommate. :) Love ya girl.

Another funny thing happened today when I went to my Pilates class. I tell ya that class is killing me. My stomach and my shoulders never hurt so much. Bad thing is that my shoulders are not suppose to hurt... *shrug*....*ouch* But back to the funny part. My instructor, her name is Joannie, could be Lauren's sister. She totally reminded me of Itz. The way she looked and talked and the way she could just burst out and do something totally funky at any moment. It made me smile but that smile quickly faded away when Joannie made us do the 20th corkscrew and my stomach cramped up. Good thing is though that I already lost 2 pounds. Wohooo, go me.

Quotes & Random Stuff

Yesterday my brother's friend Ben from Germany arrived. He is gonna stay for about 3 weeks. This is gonna be interesting. Two 14 year olds in one house for that long ;)

I'm back on my workout plan. I went to Yoga yesterday and it almost killed me. I hate being out of shape. :/Today my sister and I are gonna go try out Pilates.  And then it's probably gonna be some running on the weekend and Pilates on Sunday and Yoga on Monday and so on and hopefully I'm gonna lose those 5 pounds rather quickly.

After I picked up my lil bro and Ben from the skatepark yesterday we saw this absolutely ridiculous truck. It was a red F-150 with a cover on the bed. But the ridiculous part was the rear spoiler on the cover. It was hilarious.

To believe with certainty we must begin with doubting.
~STANISLAUS I
 
I would like to beg you to have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms orbooks in a very foreign language. Don’t search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now.
~RAINER MARIA RILKE
 

Germany

Finally back from Germany and wow I didn’t know this much could happen in two weeks. I think in a nutshell this year was the suckiest and funnest trip to Germany ever. It all started when we finally for the first time ever left the Amsterdam Airport. For years now we had been changing flights in Amsterdam but never actually stepped one foot outside of the terminal. Everything went rather smoothly until we got to the country with the worst post office clerks ever and the worst traffic ever: Belgium. That day was just simply horrible. My dad had to deposit money in a Belgium bank for the Visa the next day. But no bank in the EU-Capital wanted to exchanges dollars for euros. My parents ended up exchanging it at an American bank and then deposited the money at the post office. A nice post office where you draw number 115 and the number now serving is 23. My dad ended up going there twice which was cause enough for his dislike of Belgium post office clerks. This alone took a very very long time since parking spaces are nonexistent in Europe and my parents had to walk everywhere. Add to this extremely horrible traffic and the fact that you have been up for 30 something hours and all you want to do is sleep which my sis, my bro and I did for about 3 hours in the car parked somewhere in Brussels. The next morning we went to the US. Embassy to get our Visas which was no problem at all. The tricky part then was to get out of Brussels. It took us an entire hour to find the right Autobahn. At one point in time we were stuck in the middle of an intersection with cars all around us honking. Nobody cared if it was green or red or where the lines were. It looked like on of those chaos traffic scenes out of a movie. It was absolutely ridiculous. Before we could head back to Germany we had to stop by the Amsterdam Airport to pick up my dad’s credit card he had forgotten there.

In Hamburg we visited a couple of friends, went shopping, ate currywurst and had a wonderful surprise party for my parent’s 25th anniversary. The party was absolutely fun. My parents were totally surprised and even more surprised to see a couple of people at the party they hadn’t seen in years. Of course they hadn’t seen me in years either so it always was. " You are Gaby’s oldest daughter. My gosh in don’t believe it. You are so big now. " But all in all it was a very fun party.
We then drove down to stay with my aunt near Cologne. I finally got to see my second cousin Celina for the first time since she was born last December. She is soooo adorable. I’ll put pictures up as soon as my dad downloads them on the computer. And the wedding of my cousin was totally wonderful. Her dress was really pretty and the party afterwards was really nice too. The food was awesome as well. But it was a lot of organizing, stressful but fun. And again pictures will follow as well.

This morning when we got to Duesseldorf (the airport we normally fly out off) we meet my cousin (the other one that didn’t get married) who was dropping of her boyfriend that was flying to Greece. When we tried to check in the lady at the desk told us that we weren’t listed. We checked with another guy at a different counter and he told us that whenever the lady in Houston cancel the Amsterdam – Hamburg flight (which we didn’t need since we wanted to drive to Brussels from Amsterdam) our returning tickets (Duesseldort-Amsterdam and Amsterdam-Houston) were canceled as well. And I tell ya what’s a great feeling…standing at the airport and getting told your flight tickets have been canceled. The problem was solved rather quickly though because there were still five tickets available on the Amsterdam-Houston flight and instead of flying to Amsterdam we drove. The taxi only took two hours and we made it well on time for our next flight. You gotta love Europe for being so small sometimes and you gotta love the Dutch, they are a cool and beautiful people. The rest of the trip was pretty much routine. So all in all it was pretty cool and adventurous trip that ended with me getting a cold, losing my tan and gaining 5 pounds.
(5 pounds in 2 weeks, I still can’t get over that *shaking head* I gotta get back to the gym)

Highlight of the day

So the highlight (literally) for today is that I discovered my first grey or more like white hair. I am 20 for Buddha's sake!! Anyways, I'm blaming this unusual discovery on a pigment dysfunction of some sort. I can't be getting grey hair yet, that's impossible. Ok, gotta finish packing. I'll talk to everyone when I get back in two weeks. :)

Go Greece

Yesterday as I predicted the Greek National Soccer Team coached by Otto Rehagel (awesome German coach) won the European Championship by beating Portugal 1:0. SWEEEET
We also sat on our roof and watched the fireworks at Dunbar Park. It was quite fun and I'm sure crazy looking with the entire family sitting on the roof. Later on we went to the beach and blew up a couple of our own fireworks. Including a homemade bomb that Brian made. It was pretty sweet and almost professional looking. Everybody from Lake Jackson was pretty much at the beach since it is outside the city limits and we got to see tons of cool fireworks including burning dunes. Later on at around 3 or so we went to IHOP. I love IHOP at 3 o'clock in the morning. :)

Today is my mom's birthday. We already had a very nice relaxing breakfast and later on I'm gonna make Danish Cheesecake for her. My mom is so cute. I love her.

Tomorrow I gotta get up at 3:30 am to fly to Europe. We are flying over Detroit and have a 5 hour layover there. (I hate Northwest Airlines) and then we will fly on to Amsterdam. And for the first time in about 5 years I will actually get to see more of Amsterdam than just the airport. I have been to the airport at least 20 times but never to Amsterdam itself. Anyhow, we will get our rental car there and then visit one of our Dutch friends on our way to Bruessels. We will stay a day or so in Bruessel and get our Visa renewed (with the exploded guinea pig picture) and check out the city for a bit. Then it's back to Hamburg. We will stay there for a bit, celebrating my sisters Bday and going shopping etc. Then we will drive down to Cologne and Visit my family, go to my cousins wedding and Celina's Baptism. We will fly back on the 20th. This sounds like one cool roadtrip with lots of parties. I can't wait.

Nutcase

My brother is running around the house drinking hot chocolate and singing:" Have a holly, jolly Christmas, It's the best time of the year." in the middle of the freaking summer. And my Dad called me an exploded guinea pig when we were taking passport pictures. I tell ya my family is a nutcase.

LOTR

Yesterday my parents and I went to Houston to listen to the Houston Symphony Orchestra play the Lord of the Rings Soundtrack. It was unbelievably beautiful. I love the Orchestra and Lord of the Rings.

"A free heart is a heart delivered from the gusts and the storms of the affections and passions; the assailing touch of grief, wrath, hatred, fear, inequality of love, trouble of joy, pain of sorrow fall away from the equal heart, and leave it a thing large ,calm, luminous, divine." ~Sri Aurobindo

Germany

We can finally fly to Germany. My dad called this morning and said that they are gonna sent the travel letter to Germany so that we can reenter the country when we come back on the 20th of July. When my mom told me I replied:"Wohooo, I'm excited" and my sister replied:"Wohooo, Underwear" ...Just to make that clear. My sister and I love the store H&M, they have the best underwear in the world and the store only exits in Germany...I think there are a couple in New England too. But who wants to go to Boston if they can go to Germany. ;)

Since the weather today is absolutely nice and sunny I'm going to the beach with my mom and sister. Later :P

Just a couple of random things for my daily update

Greece beat the Czech Republic in the semifinal and is now going to play Portugal in the finals. Wohoo, Go Greece. I predict that they will win cause Greek food is awesome.

I took my history final today, which means I'm done with history except that I still have to take an entire semester. I hate history.

We haven't gotten our travel letter that says we can leave the country yet. We better get it by Monday otherwise we can't go to Germany.

It finally stopped raining down here. About time after 18 days of rain. So tomorrow I'm going the beach. :)

In proportion as our inward life fails,
we go more constantly and desperately
to the post office. You may depend on it,
that poor fellow who walks away with the
greatest number of letters, proud of his
extensive correspondence, has not heard
from himself this long while.
~HENRY DAVID THOREAU

Free Stuff

My Dad somehow changed the phone service so that now it runs over the internet and it's a lot cheaper. My mom and dad were then arguing about if long distance is free or not with this set up and all my dad replies is:

"The only thing that's ever free is death and that's only for the person dying."

Even though it's sad all I could do was burst out laughing. That is ultimate wisdom right there.

Draft

Today as we were talking about the civil war in my history class our teacher mentioned that there is a bill in Congress right now that will reinstate the military draft by spring 2005. This draft would require everyone including women between the age of 18 and 26 to serve for 2 years. And college and Canada this time around are not a way to escape the draft. The reason why it is kept quiet is because of the upcoming election. Go figure, that's typical politics. Now the draft is most likely not going to happen because it would reduce the quality of the military, the training is too long and it would simply cost too much but just the thought that it might happen scares me. It really scares me.

Fun Times

I just got back from my roadtrip to DFW. It was fun and it was really good to see Amy and Lib and Lib's family. And it was really good to get out of Lake Jackson. Now just a couple of random thoughts.

Dallas rush hour sucks just as much as Houston's. Especially when you look down that hill on I 20 and all you can see is nonmoving cars all the way to the horizon. Ridiculous I say, absolutely ridiculous.

DFW floods just as much as Houston. It was amazing how one can have a lake in their backyard when there normally isn't one.

Toby is one crazy dog, but cute I have to admit.

$8.50 for the movies is just ridiculous but yeah for student discounts. $4.00 for the movies in the evening is awesome and both Fahrenheit 9/11 and The Terminal are good movies.

Grand Theft Auto has to be my favorite video game ever because I suck so bad at it, it's really funny to watch. Oh and the nail gun mode is awesome.

Car covered in tons of bumper stickers look kinda cool, Fort Worth's downtown is really cute, the Radio Shack Headquarters is insane and the guns up Jesus rocks.

Frisbee Golf is really cool too and once again it's another thing I suck at.

Oh and whoever orders 45 burgers at Wendy's at 10 o'clock at night should be shot.

Now it's time to read 3 chapters of history and go to class. Wohooo

Roadtrip

I'm going to visit Amy in Fort Worth today....Wohooo. It's gonna be fun.

Wohooo

German riots after Euro 2004 exit
Thursday, June 24, 2004 Posted: 0836 GMT (1636 HKT)

HAMBURG, Germany -- About 150 German football fans went on the rampage in the northern city of Hamburg after their team was eliminated from Euro 2004.

You just gotta love those soccer hooligans. They never dissappoint you. Oh and yeah blame Cananda for the flooding down here.

Stupid Czechs

Ok, this is what I said in a convo to Laura during Germany's game against the Czechs today. "Give me Germany in the quarterfinals or give me death." Hmmm, I guess that means death. So I take that back. Instead I will just blame Canada. Blame you Canada that Germany can't get the ball in the goal. There, I feel much better now.

I hope my back is gonna feel better too after Yoga tonite. I love Yoga. Besides climbing it is my favorite....hmmm, you can't really call it a sport. But anyways I just love it.

July 6th my family will fly to Germany or to be more specific to Amsterdam. From there we will drive to Brussels and get our Visa renewed on the 8th. Then we will drive all the way up to Hamburg and chill there for a couple of days and then it's back down to Aachen for my cousin's wedding and the baptism of her cute little baby Celina on the 17th and then it's back to the US. It is all gonna be a lot of fun but it all depends on one simple, small thing. If we don't get our travel letters from the BCIS then we can't leave the country, which means we can't go. Stupid bureaucracy....y'all better make it quick.

Lately I have been feeling rather weird which I normally do over the summer. It's probably because I actually have lot of time to think, to contemplate which I usually don't do during the school year. I feel lazy, sad, yet grateful,lonely and once again trapped. I feel trapped not because I'm down here in Lake Jackson and all my friends are somewhere else, but because I somehow can't find a way to vent my feelings and thoughts. I have been writing in my journal every night to try to make some sense out of my thoughts and feelings. But it isn't really helping. I once again seem to be waiting....waiting for something...someone...but I can't figure out what. I just wanna be happy, truly happy, not just something that's temporary but it seems like a very long and difficult road to get to that point and I have been getting quite discouraged. I'm to the point of just giving up somehow. But then I came across this quote.

I learn every day of
my life, learn it with
pain I am grateful for:
patience is everything.
~RAINER MARIA RILKE

Patience truly is everything and it is something I don't posses.....yet.

Ok, now I'm depressed. Today is just not a good day. Yoga here I come. Time to relax

Blame Canada

My brother and I were talking about the Euro 2004 and I said that Germany absolutely has to beat the Czech Republic to get into the quarterfinals. My brother starts singing: "Stupid Czechs, stupid Czechs" then shortly after that switches to "Blame
Canada, blame Canada, blame Canada!" I thought it was hilarious, but it is a good strategy. If Germany doesn't make it to the quarterfinals then we can blame Canada.

The usual daily update.

The common sideeffects of every drug...tiredness and nausea. Not the best feeling in the world, but I'll get over it.

History test tomorrow. Should be just like the last one thus I'm not worried about it.

My brother and his girlfriend are really cute. They didn't see each other for an entire 10 days b/c Rachel was at some camp. My brother was in one of the grumpiest moods ever during that time and he gave Rachel the biggest hug at the movies today. Totally cute.

I had some extremely good seafood yesterday at Willie Joe's down at Surfside Beach with my entire family yesterday evening. I love seafood.

Visiting Amy in Fort Worth this weekend. Fun....

Oh, that reminds me. It's time to take my next penicillin. Yuck, I really hate those pills.

Bunch of Quotes

The six cubit body
contains the origin
and the dissolution
of the world.
~BUDDHIST SAYING

"Whenever I meet even a 'foreigner,'
I have always the same feeling:
'I am meeting another member of the human family.'
This attitude has deepened my affection
and respect for all beings."
~His Holiness the Dalai Lama

With a wish to free all beings
I shall always go for refuge
To the Buddha, Dharma and Sangha,
Until I reach full enlightenment.

Enthused by wisdom and compassion,
today in the Buddhas' presence
I generate the Mind for Full Awakening
For the benefit of all sentient beings.

As long as space remains,
As long as sentient beings remain,
Until then, may I too remain
And dispel the miseries of the world.

A lot of friends have been writing about love, serenity, and happiness in their profile lately and it makes me really glad to see it. Life is just unbelievably awesome.

On a good note. My teeth are still doing great or more like the lack of my teeth.

On a bad note, German only tied Latvia 0:0 which means that we now absolutely have to beat the Czech Republic to get into the Quarterfinals. We shall see if that is possible.

Iron Chef German

So I made some awesome chicken fricassee today. My entire family loved it. Maybe by the end of the summer I can call myself Iron chef German. Haha, that would be too funny. Anyways, this is only the first day after surgery and I'm already eating solid food. Go me. Anyways, my dad and I are gonna fix my computer. Later...

It's a good day

I'm a little sore but otherwise I feel great. I really recommend my wisdomteeth doctor. He did a very good job even though he was a longhorn.

Otherwise life is really great. I'm reading "How to practice the way to a meaninful life" by the Dalai Lama right now and I plan on reading a lot more of his books and getting ahead in my Buddhist studies. It's going to be a lot of work b/c Buddhism isn't an easy religion but will make it.

This weekend I'm probably gonna go visit Amy in Fort Worth. That should be fun. After that it's Germany on July 6th if the govt has our paper ready. I really really hope so, because I really want to be at my cousins wedding.

Then on August 16th it's finally back to Lubbock and moving into my house with some awesome girls. Wohoo. I can't wait.

Just finishing with a quote and then eating some choco mousse my lil bro made me. :)

In zazen we do not expect anything. Zazen is not a
technique to achieve anything. It is much more natural.
And yet, somehow, the most natural thing is difficult
to do. How come? Because we think. There is nothing
wrong with thinking. Thinking is a very natural process,
but we are so easily conditioned by our thinking and
give too much value to it.
~MAEZUMI ROSHI

Wisdom Teeth

I got my wisdom teeth pulled today. It was kinda interesting. They completely sedated me and I basically don't remember a thing. Just random bits and pieces. Like asking my mom if she got my purse, getting wheeled out to the car through a back door in a wheelchair, my mom being upset b/c Walgreens didn't have the prescription ready, me popping a couple of pimples cause it didn't hurt and just getting home and crashing on the couch. According to my mom I kept on talking nonstop on the way home but I don't even remember that. Not remembering feels really strange, this is what getting wasted probably feels like and frankly I don't like it very much and that's another reason I don't drink. But the good news are that I'm not in a any pain...yet and that my family pampers me the entire day. My brother especially made chocolate mousse for me. And my mom rented movies for me to watch tonite. Woohoo and I'm probably gonna go to the beach on Sunday to relax. Ok, I think I'm gonna lay back down cause I'm dizy. Later

Again

And it's happening again, that would be the second time this year, and again I'm right in the middle of it because I'm stupid enough to let this get to me the way it is. I should just stop, I have done it before but it is rather difficult. I'm just gonna get my mind onto something else. Period. But it hurts.....

It's raining men

It's raining men...Hallejulah...It's raining men...Amen

It's been raining since yesterday and at first it was kinda cozy, sleeping while there is a thunderstorm outside. But now our pool is about to totally overflow and flood the entire backporch. Should be interesting to watch. I hope it's stops tonite though when I have to go to yoga.